Why I feed raw

Time to make the cat food again...

I have talked about feeding raw food to my cats a few times on this blog, I've even done a few 'watch me make raw food' posts because my cats amuse me every single time we make food.

I will admit, this is probably one of my least favorite chores. I would strongly prefer to buy it and leave the meat grinding to someone else, but with the FDA regulations of zero tolerance of bacteria or pathogens in raw food to almost to the point of being insane (they do not seem to have the same zeal when testing cooked commercial foods)  and my cats don't like HPP (high-pressure pasteurization) foods... So, we make it.

We use the recipe from catinfo.org but I do not cook anything. I used to cook the egg whites because of the enzyme in them that inhibit biotin absorption, but with the high amount of biotin in the yolks as well as the biotin in the B vitamins we add, I am not worried about the small amount that is bound up and is unusable because we don't cook the whites.

But why would I go through all of this trouble? Why do I feed raw? Years ago I had one diabetic cat (Em) and two cats who had blocked with urinary crystals (Jack and Eli) while on a 'high-quality premium' dry cat food. Em was on seven units of insulin twice a day because of the food we were feeding. We were originally encouraged to switch her to a high fiber food (W/D) because the belief was that the fiber would slow down the absorption of the sugars in the food and keep a cat's blood sugar stable. It works for humans and for dogs to some extent, but it has been disproven to help cats. Her transition to W/D did not go well, so we kept her on the food she liked, which the vet said was fine. Why no one (of the multiple vets we saw) balked at the idea of giving a cat seven units of insulin twice a day, I have no idea.

I found the felinediabetes.com message board and saw cat after cat enter into remission with a diet change to a low carb high protein diet. I was floored at the idea. By this point, Em had been on insulin for years and I didn't think it was possible. I picked a low carb canned food (Fancy Feast Classics Turkey and Giblets) and put her on that while testing her blood sugar levels regularly. Her insulin need dropped dramatically, from seven units to two and eventually to one. I was stunned. I started feeding Em separately from the rest of the cats and she was fine with that.

Then Eli blocked. So Em was on special food, Eli was on special food and the rest were still being fed dry.

Then Jack blocked.

So we had a devil of a time herding cats twice a day. Getting Em into her bathroom to eat her food, then get everyone else into the basement but Jack and Eli.. well at least not Eli since touching him then was questionable, Jack would follow the food anywhere.. It was frustrating having three feeding stations for five cats.

The more I learned about why the food helped Em, the more I learned in general. When I realized that leaving my cats on dry food would most likely mean that they too would one day end up with medical conditions that would need an Rx food, and that feeding them a low carb, high protein, high moisture diet would mitigate that, I was converted.

My husband and I went to pet food store after pet food store looking for cat foods that had a named meat source (chicken, beef, turkey) and each animal-based ingredient was also named (chicken fat vs poultry fat) and that had no plants in it and no carrageenan.  I was shocked how hard that was and by the fact that some food makers at the time put garlic in their foods.

We finally ended up with the conclusion that making the food was our best option.  I was completely ready to throw in the towel before I even began. I can not stand touching raw meat. I decided I needed to wear plastic gloves to do it and that helped a lot. The fact that my husband is willing to do clean up is another factor that has helped a great deal over the years.

this is relevant to my interests - Fleurp

Getting Em on raw was easy initially. Her insulin need dropped to almost nothing. Sadly, it was about this time that she started developing cancer and she decided she wanted nothing to do with the raw, I speculate that was because she associated the new food with the discomfort that was taking up residence within her.

I was beyond lucky/blessed/super skilled at getting everyone else on it. I offered them ground raw chicken, which they all said was super awesome, so I said, "okay, this is your new food" switching it with the raw food we had made and they ate it. I suspect it had a lot to do with the fact that they were all fosters and had grown up eating a wide variety of foods due to eating whatever was donated to the shelter. (this is why I recommended feeding kittens anything and everything while they are young)

Additional benefits: My cats eat less food on raw.. 2-3 oz per meal vs the 4-6 they used to of conventional food. Their stools are also much smaller and drier and barely smell - unless you collect them and cut them up for research.. then you smell them just fine

Eli and Jack went years without another incident of crystals. Each has had flair ups over the years when stressed (or when Jack broke into bags of dry food I brought into the house for foster kittens). I can't imagine what they would have gone through if I had kept them on regular food.

Skippy, the only kitty we adopted since converting to raw, is in amazing health. He has never needed a dental and his teeth are still very clean - granted he is only five, but a lot of cats start with dentals before this point. Fleurp was mostly raw raised and except for her annual spring anemia (goodness, I wish I knew what causes that) she is in good health as well.  Time will tell if this holds up, but from what I have read and learned, I am guessing it will.

I wonder what happened to Kit and why her cancer popped up so quickly and I have my theory, which I'll probably touch upon when and if I do a year in review post. I know perfect nutrition (and I'm not saying my diet choices for my cats are perfect) isn't a full and complete preventative to disease, so I imagine I'll be facing more difficult situations as the years progress.. but giving them the most highly digestible and least inappropriate diet I can is the least I can do to help mitigate whatever I can.


So, TL/DR, Why do I feed raw? It 'cures' diabetes, It 'cures' urinary crystals, I know what is in it. I know how highly digestible it is because of size and smell of my cat's stool.

biding my time

Well Peter and Tinsel were done their medication on Friday.. I've kept them over the weekend to make sure things don't flair up.. I wonder how long I can keep them before it is no longer kosher.  Tinsel is fast approaching his six month birthday, and Peter isn't that far behind (at six months all cats at the shelter become free to adopt)  it is a bit of a shame that they haven't found a home before now.  For the past few days when ever I go to take care of them, they end up getting me to snuggle with them for at least 30 minutes.  Yesterday was a bit different.  I wish I had my camera with me at the time, because the two of them were playing with a furry mouse.  There is a black one and a red one in the room, and they both have to play with which ever one is in motion.  If I throw the other one in the mix so they each have one, it is out and out ignored (or the one they were playing with is ignored for the new one)  They were tossing it up in the air and trying to pounce it like it was a butterfly.. which means EVERYTHING was flying.  Once they even body slammed in the air.

They also take turns wrestling.  Peter will pounce on Tin, then Tin pounces on Petie. 

I so wish someone who would keep in touch would adopt them.  I tried to get @Scully_Cat 's staff to consider them, as there was some talk of kittens.. but alas Scully will have NOTHING to do with it.  She's completely content to be an only kitty.  I get that.  I was so certain that I wouldn't be able to add any more cats to my household when Em became an only kitty after Tig went missing (back in the days when I let my cats free roam - but that too has a long story) She not only made it perfectly clear she was an only cat, she put that thought in practice attacking the few kittens that came to visit.  We couldn't turn down Ollie though, and with proper introductions, she became very accepting of him.  Then when we added Jack, she was content to be queen.  By the time we added Twee, she was queen mom, enjoying licking and snuggling with Twee and the others.  I do think she was much happier because of the addition...

ugh.. I'm rambling.  Sorry..

I do wish I could keep them, but then I go up and spend time with my own crew and get covered with four to six cats and realize there really is just no room.  I know Skippy would LOVE them, mostly because Peter reminds me a lot of him in personality... that and he sits in the window to the kitten room every chance he gets and watches them.

Maybe Friday... Friday is do-able. 

Then I'll swap out the flooring in the kitten room (I put cheap linoleum down over the foam floor squares that we replaced this year. I like it a lot, but it already has a tear in it, so I'll buy a thicker piece this time) and sit and wait for kittens.  Often they don't come in force until June..

Em's famous again

About.com seems to really like my photo of Em.  Can't blame them, it is one of my favorites of her.

Em, her final day

This is going to be a pure facts post. I am not ready to do more than that. I'm still deep in the big fat ugly cry that hurts too much.

It happened on Thursday. Monday was a good morning, but by that afternoon she had taken that last turn. I upped her pred to 12.5 mg on Tuesday which took its toll on the rest of her body. At least she could breathe.

I never got the "its ok mom, I'm ready" signal. Just the "I am so freakin tired, doing EVERYTHING but sitting here takes so much effort" feeling. she was peeing a lot, and starting to use the pee pads again. Wednesday night she peed on the bathroom floor.

Thursday I slept in. I had gotten some chemical help from my Dr. and I took some Wednesday night so as to try to keep myself from breaking down. One of the side effects of too much of this particular brand of help is coma.. (nice hun) It knocked me out. Which actually was nice. I got dressed, went to the store and bought a bag full of goodies for my friends at the shelter. I dropped it off, and when I was asked what the occasion was for (why did I not think that would be asked??) I started bawling. I arranged to get Em's ashes back. I didn't think I would want them - I still don't think I do. But I couldn't face the ultimate good bye. Earlier on Wednesday when it was feeding time I had to have my DH TAKE Em from me as I didn't want to let her go.

so I then left the shelter and went and had my nails done. It had been weeks, and I knew if I went home I'd hover and annoy her, and I'd then be left afterwards looking at my nails and wanting them to get done and doubting I could do it with out crying. I had two polishes put on. OPI's black tie and another one called Tahiti which is a opalescent white. They look pretty nice.

I came home, and brought Em down stairs and I held her and watched a little TV. Again, she was so very tired of everything. I tried to clear the gunk from her eye, and she put up a weak protest. around 4:30 I brought her up stairs, and I took her outside. She just laid where I put her. DH came home and we sat on the ground for a bit and patted her.

The vet showed up with his assistant. it is a two part step.. first he injects a sedative into her thigh muscle, then when she's out injects the final...

anyway.

We decided to do the first injection outside, then bring her inside for the final. I ran inside for something, for the life of me I don't remember what. While I was gone, Em had gotten up, wandered off a little, tried to go pee, but fell over and was just laying there urinating when I got back. When she was done, she stood up again and again tried to walk off. I hated this - to me it said her spirit wasn't ready, but her flesh had turned against her and despite what we both wanted, it was time.

I laid her on the blanket, and she got the first injection. the first one was a little uncomfortable for her, but appeared no more unpleasant that a vaccine injection. I picked her up and held her while it took effect. Fortunately it took a few minutes, and I could hear her purr, and felt her grab for me, as if wanting to hold on as long as possible.

I looked down at her and told her I loved her.

Soon she was sedated. I took a quick peek in her mouth thinking I would see the reason why pilling her hurt so much, I didn't. Just mounds and mounds of tarter. I took her inside and laid her out in the sun room. I was given a few more minutes, and he injected the last...

she was gone before he was done. Painlessly, quietly, on soft kitty paws her soul escaped. He checked, I turned her over and kissed her belly - something I used to do a lot before she got ill. Dr then said he wanted to go so just like that. I joked and asked if he wanted someone to kiss his belly when he was gone, and he laughed and asked me if I would do it..

I got a little more time with her. I thought the cats might come and check her out, but they didn't. I don't know if it was because the dr was around, or if they just didn't feel the need to be that close to death. regardless of seeing her, they knew. They have been quite sedated over the past few days.

The house has been reclaimed as well. We did a lot of it before she passed. The bathroom that was given over to her for her food and litter is now mine again, the pills, and bottles, and accoutrements of caring for a sick pet are all put away. I am so fortunate that my DH is able to, because I'm crying just writing this down. Putting away her food bowls would have killed me. Just seeing her food bowls would have killed me.

Eli just stopped by and meowed at me. He thinks I should be taking better care of myself. cute boy.

anyway.. after they had left, I broke down and sobbed the ugly cry sob. The one where you HURT everywhere doing it. you can't breath, your eyes hurt, etc. I hate this cry. (now Muffin is here) After another few minutes, or hours I don't remember) We left the house and took a small road trip to the natural food store. I love this store. I couldn't face eating anything in particular, so I figured I'd go to their different food bars and eat a little of everything - but even that didn't appeal to me. In the end we found broccoli chicken poppers and jalapeno poppers, and that was dinner. (and sad to say breakfast too)

today we went down to the quick-e-mart and got a slushie, and the electrical supply store to get a junction box, and that was all I was up for.DH has family visiting near by, so I sent him out to visit them. I read the final harry potter book. Now I think I'll take one or two of my coma pills and start again tomorrow.. I want to cry and grieve my girl - actually no, that is not true. I want her back! but since that isn't going to happen... anyway. I do want to cry, just not the so ugly it hurts cry.

btw.. not having anything to do with her collar, I put it around my ankle. Gives me some odd sense of comfort.

its official

she has declined greatly since Monday morning. Almost as if she has given up. I almost wish I could have moved the appointment to today, but there wasn't room. Thursday at 5 it is..

The end is near...

I made an appointment for Thursday at 5pm. I don't know if I can do it. she gets so bright eyed, and so interested. So what if she is wobbly and has times when she is so tired she is in that 'whatever' stage..

there is some construction going on at work, so I have wednesday thru friday off... which is probably a very good thing on several levels. I doubt I'll be at home with her the whole time.. cause she gets annoyed when I hover.

I can't talk much more about it. I refuse to greive until she is gone, and I get so close to tears even thinking about it.

I'm hoping against hope..

SHE SLEPT ON THE BED!!

My darling Em hasn't been up on the bed on her own for a while. The past couple of days my DH hasn't been putting her timed feeder down, so by the time I get home she's quite hungry. There has been twice she's gotten up on the bed on her own looking for treats.

This morning I put her on the bed to test her blood sugars, and she decided that it was a nice comfy place to lay, so she went to sleep.

I ran to get the camera and took pictures - yes I am silly! I love her so much..

Jack is in the preverbial dog house. I have been putting Em's pills in pill pockets to help her out. Well I put her 'treats' in a small bowl with the testing supplies and I had turned my back for half a moment, and Jack LUNGED forward, and stole a 'treat'. he was just barely tasting it when I grabbed his mouth and tried to get it out. Unfortunately I ended up pushing it further in, and he got to 'keep' his plundered treasure.. (it was 2.5 mg of prednisolone - not a good idea, but not a big deal) but he was on my bad side all day. He kept trying to suck up to me to get me to forgive him.

I must remember if he gets treats all the time he starts thinking that he can't live with out them, that he MUST HAVE THEM NOW! that is not a very enticing attitude in a cat - especially one that has no problem SCREAMING at you to hand them over.. So treats are out for a few weeks for the rest of the crew. Not that they need them by any stretch of the imagination.. they are all quite cubby lately.

how does she do it??

I sweat this cat has more determination than I do - and that is saying a lot! Last night I was certain the end was here. she was having a very hard time walking, her coordination was off, and she was quite lethargic. I talked to her quitely, told her that it seemed the time was here, and that was ok, that it is ok to not want to fight any more, and we would do what we had to.

this morning she's up, she's interested in things, she gave my DH hell for not feeding her (I wanted to do it a little later in the AM)and when I went to put food down she walked as fast as her frail little body would let her.

When I found out what was going on, the vet said we had probably until June. At the time I asked Em if she could make it till Christmas - I think she's doing her best to do it.

Her eye has stopped producing goop.. which is one good thing. Both her nasal passages are blocking up and she is breathing through her mouth a great deal of the time causing her to drool. Her BGs have been pretty consistant lately which is good..

I have to listen to her. I can't imagine the guilt if I forced her before she was ready.. so one day at a time.. Today was not her day.

dehydrated and constipated

her issue the other day was that she was consptiated. Forced some A/D with some pumpkin in her, and once things started moving along she was right as rain again - well as right for her anyway.

she is becoming more and more dehydrated too. I try to give her fluids to stay on top of it, but I always seem to be behind the 8ball on that one. I don't want to do too much, because when I do it throws off her balance and makes it hard to walk. so the last time I put half on one side, the other on the other..

When I locked her in the bathroom, she figured she'd never get out ever again, because she now locks herself in the bathroom, not leaving through the door but waiting to be let out by one of us. I don't mind her being in the bathroom all day, she's got everything she needs in there, and no one is going to bother her., but I feel bad thinking she wants to explore the house.. *shrug* I don't want to leave her outside the bathroom - because if she thinks she can't get out, she might not want to go in where all her food is.

She was getting ratty again. With the forcing of the pumpkin and her general over all condition, it was time for a bath. I wanted to make it as easy on her as possible. She didn't mind being held and put under the water last time, but it was very hard to get all the soap out.. So this time I filled up a large bucket and dunked her in it (water up to her neck) picked her out, soaped her down, then put her back in for a quick rinse.

she was mad. Growling, and fighting me.. it was kinda cute. I tried to towel dry her, but she was so mad she wasn't having any of it. She wandered off and tried to lick herself dry. which she could only slightly do. I ended up taking a hair dryer to her, and helping her out a bit.

I do love this cat..

The roller coster of Em

Now let me start off by saying she is still very stubborn, still very interested in life, and absolutely not ready to go..

but I fear I am not going to be able to let her make that decision.

As she stopped letting me pill her, I've been more and more concerned about her mouth. Her canines are looking almost translucent, which is very odd to me. I've been trying to get a better look in her mouth, and she does not want me to. well I forced her over the weekend, and the tip of her tongue has issues. I'm not sure what they are, but I saw blood. and recently she's been less likely to eat. She still loves the pill pockets I bought to try to help sneak her pills into her, and the temptations, but a plate of food is just not her thing.

I left her locked in the bathroom with four different plates of food.. regular canned, dry, a plate of yogurt, and a bowl of A/D mixed with water. Hopefully SOMETHING will be gone when I get home... if not I will be forced to attempt to force feed her. when giving her clavamox this morning, I grabbed a little of the a/d mixture with it, and squirted that into her mouth, which she took surprisingly well... so maybe forcing won't be a big deal. If it is, and if she won't eat on her own, I can't let her starve, no matter how much she wants to hang around - which I think will shatter my soul way more than her dying. I will be sad but ok if she tells me that it is time, but I don't know if I can make her go before she is ready.

I've also noticed that stability is becoming more and more of an issue as well. this morning while eating the pill pocket, she dropped it out of her mouth, and it rolled under her, she tried to get it, but almost ended up doing a somersault. Fortunately I was there to catch her. It scares me that she's still willing to walk downstairs.. but she does.

and to top it all off, she actually started to play the other day. DH took off his sneakers near her, and she batted after the shoe lace till the other cats joined in..

A couple quick picts of Em

Em had a very bad night last night, and I was certain her time was at hand. I even took the day off today to spend with her. I had planned the call and hoped the dr could get me in on Sat.

That morning she was very exhausted, tired, her eye was quite goopy, she was run down. She totally enjoyed her morning treats.. but because of last night - I found her drooling and she didn't want me any where near her mouth - I made the call. While I was talking, she got up, and came over and sat at my feet and looked up pleading as if to say "please mommy, not yet"

she wouldn't stop. So I called the vet back and canceled it.





Em helping out with the assembly of our new table.

Em the demanding

Oh she's been spoiled, and she KNOWS it. What have I created?? :)

I can't complain.. she's still here, and that means the world to me. I found some photos of her from years past, and she looks like a totally different cat.. and it made me cry all over again. I was on the floor going through my scrapbook supplies to make a sympathy card for my friend who just lost her cat when I found them. I looked up from the photos to see Em sitting next to me, looking at me as if asking "Whatcha doin?" She's so sweet.

She's demanding treats all the time. She's demanding that I not clean her eye, and NOT pill her (this is new) Fortunately Im fast and good, and we get the pill down her before she has a serious chance to object. I'm sure she's objecting just because she can. She does that to me sometimes with the blood testing too.

the basement is finished, and we got a small pub table and chairs to put down there. DH brought it down Sunday night and Em supervised the construction (I have photos still in the cam at home) and ever since then she's been hanging out around them. I guess she approves :)

I just want to grab her and hug her and cover her with kisses all the time, but I annoy her right quick when I do that. Sometimes she puts up with me for my sake, I can tell. Sometimes she likes it..

She's stopped getting up on the bed. I'm not sure why. I think it is because the bed is so squishy that she has balance issues.. I miss waking up with her hogging my pillows.. but I suppose this is a good transition time for me. its also time for her to train my other kitties to take over some of 'her duties" like hogging my pillows (Jack's new job) or pinning me down while I'm trying to wake up (Muffin's new job)

I still have my moments when I feel selfish for keeping her around, but then she sits there and says "HEY! SERVE ME!" and I know that she's here and so wants to be here..

*must remember to get more treats for her highness ;)*

I love Cheezburger

It makes me giggle.

Em is doing good, and bad at the same time. Its bizzare. The good - she's eating like a horse, interested, bright eyed, and purring when getting love. the bad is that eye is HORRIBLE!! the tears aren't flowing back in, so they spill out all over her face. the goop is covering her eye, and flowing to the outside, making the whole thing look horrid. She is contstantly trying to clean it with her paw, which is also getting covered.

She didn't mind her paw getting cleaned, but she hates it when I wash her face. I think it hurts. Warm water is easiest, but I think that hurts more, as I tried luke warm water and she was easier to handle. I put her eye drops in the fridge, and she didn't hate that.. *shrug* Hopefully the antibiotics will help her.. she got her third dose this morning. Will have to give her some more fluids soon..

I do have happy kitten news

I promise, but unfortunately this isn't it. I have cute photos at home, and I'll post them soon, I promise.

This post is about Em again. I think this is more for me to have a record of things that are happening with her, that and it helps to write it down so it doesn't fester as much in the back of my mind.

This morning was interesting.. she was up exploring the house. She still insists on going down into the basement on a regular basis. she doesn't stay down there long, so I think she's just using the litter box and coming back up. why?? there is a litter box in her bathroom now.. but what ever. I'm sure the stairs are doing her good.. exercise and all. She was bright and alert, and not at all interested in getting her blood sugars tested. She sat there for me, but I could tell all she wanted was the treats that come afterwards. I also gave her the rest of the bag of fluids we were working on. She sat nicely for me for that.. but we were cuddled up on the bed, so that might have had something to do with it.

The negative... her eye was full of goop. A thick opaque substance. I think her eye lining, the conjunctiva, is a little swollen too. I gave her another drop of the eye drops the vet prescribed, despite having just given them to her yesterday. I fear they cause episodes in her, but I couldn't let her eye look like that. I put a warm compress on it and by the time the fluids were in her, her eye was much better.

I get the distinct feeling from her that the end is weeks away.. she is so not ready to go. I'm tempted to talk to Dawn again (the animal communicator) and see if she gets that same impression. Its just hard when she fights me every time I try to clean up her face or open up her nose from where the drainage blocked it..

Em is still in the game!

this past weekend wasn't easy on us. She was so tired most of the time, and weezing, that I was sure I'd be making that call. We also ran out of pred, so I was faced with which phone call I would make. I found Em on Sunday laying on her feather bed, her rear legs were covered with urine. her pee pads were empty, and I was so very concerned that she was losing control over things.

I decided that if she was covered again on Monday I would make THE call instead of refilling the meds..

Well it turns out that Em has decided to use the litter box again, and she stands right up on the side of the box, so that it splashes back on her.

but why on earth is Em concerned about using the litter box?? she hasn't used one in years.

so anyway.. I called the vet about refilling her pred. Dh was going to pick it up yesterday, but didn't make it before the offices closed. I had called them right before they closed and didn't get through and left a message asking them to leave it outside, well DH didn't find it.. we later found out it was still there, so we went on a car ride to pick it up.

we had "the conversation" about setting the time to do it. He doesn't feel comfortable schedualing death. I can't blame him, neither do I, but it will need to be done. He's no longer able to dismiss her symptoms. She's got mini tremmors or muscle contractions going on. Its VERY subtle.. she's much more reluctant to walk, sleeps a LOT, eats sporatically although she still eats well but her weight is back down to 9lbs. I concidered calling and trying to set something up for this Wednesday. knowing she isn't going to fight this off, it is such a fine line of when I'm keeping her around because she wants to be here, and when I'm keeping her around for me. I am so very not ready. I sobbed on and off while driving to the vet (to get the meds)

I decided if she was still overly tired tomorrow I'd make the call.

well we got home, and she was bright, and interested, and wanting to lick me. This morning the same thing - although she was covered in urine again. So I brought her into the kitchen and rinsed her off. She just let me, purring. I wrapped her up in a towel and brought her into the bedroom for medicine and BG testing. She was fine for a few minutes enjoying the attention, then she wanted to get out of the blanket, and stubbornly she fought me to get out. She stubbornly fought me Sunday night when I gave her fluids too. She hates getting fluids, but I know she likes having them on board :)

So I can't help but wonder if she's not trying to use the litter box to try to tell me she still wants to be around. I still see that spark, that interest in being around. I can't take that from her.

I recently read a poem that someone wrote regarding the rainbow bridge, and the joy the cats have there, running around, chasing mice or butterflys, and generally being active. I giggled. Em has never been one to run around... ever. She - like her mom - has always been one to choose the bed over being active. I can only picture her finding a nice bush to sit under with some comfy underbrush and taking a nice nap.

Ok, enough dwelling. can't cry yet.. she is very much still in this game.

Em update

well Emerald was doing so well recently that I cut back on her pred. I must not ever do that again.. it knocked her back, and she had a blow out bleed. It was so bizarre though, because it was all over her food bowl, but no where else.

she also is not a fan of getting fluids, but she likes having them on board. They help her out a lot.

She's hanging in there, enjoying treats, and attention. however I fear the end is just around the corner. She's been very slow to stand recently.. she is still jumping straight up on to the bed (which is higher than your average bed). I made stairs for her which she uses a lot, but often she's been jumping straight up which is good..

I am currently at work, and I just want to run home and give her kisses..

Yet another Emmy update

Well lets see. Right after I posted in reply to the comment I got, I went and hung out with Em for a while. I was noticing she was still quite tired and morose. Its hard to call her lethargic, since there is such a fine line between who she's always been and lethargic :)

Each time she has a bleed, it takes a lot out of her, but she usually bounces back after 24 hours. Sunday I took her outside for a while. She went and sat in my garden for a little bit.. went to the warm pavement and took a small nap, then we went around to the side of the house and she smelled the lilac bushes (we moved them over there to get more sunlight) Em just sat there, in her "whatever" mode. I was getting eaten by bugs, so I gently picked her up and brought her in. She didn't struggle one bit. I got her in, laid her down on the ottoman where she's been spending a lot of time, and she didn't move.. just closed her eyes and was exhausted.

I was so certain I'd be calling Dr. Brion today.. certain of it. I was snapping at my husband, and doing my best not to break down.. We went to bed, and Em came and joined us in the middle of the bed - which I took as a good sign. We both tried to give her room, so she stretched out so she could touch both of us.

Sometime in the night she moved to the far side of me. When I woke up Em was glad to see me, licking me like she hasn't done in a while, and excited at the idea of breakfast.

Yea!

so, we are still on the winding road to that day, but hopefully it is nice and far away..

Bad Day for Em

Yesterday/last night/ this morning was NOT a good one for either Em or myself..

The trip to the vet went ok, and that night she was fine. Thursday morning she was a little off.. her nose was a bit bloodier than normal. I had been using the eye drops.. so maybe those, or maybe I forgot a dose of her prenisone, but what ever the reason, by Thursday night Em was having a hard time breathing, had blood coming out of both of her nostrils and was pretty miserable. Didn't want to eat, didn't want to cuddle, just wanted to lay there and wheeze / snore / cough / sneeze. I upped her dose of pred thursday night to 7.5 mg, and gave her an appetite stimulant, and some fluids, and some more antibiotics. All night she lay there with her nose pointed to the ceiling, swallowing hard and wheezing.

This morning she didn't seem any different. I gave her another 7.5 mg dose of pred, more appetite stimulant, and more antibiotics. I felt horrible pilling her as she was having a hard time breathing. I gave her the yummiest food I could for breakfast.. but she could barely eat it because she couldn't smell it and every time she leaned down to take a bite everything shifted and she'd end up coughing / sneezing. The coughing got so bad I was sure she was going to vomit..

Somehow I left for work. I left her locked in the bathroom so she would have access to her food and no one else would sneak in with her and eat it all up (Muffin) I hated leaving her locked up, even though she has a nice bed in there, and her pee pads and her food.. but she was fine. Came home and walked in on her using the pee pads.

Her breathing is much better.. but she's a little dazed. She wants something, but she doesn't quite know what it is - or maybe she does, and I just can't figure it out. She is a cat of little brain, and even smaller needs.. food, love, food, and now a walk outside have always made her a happy camper. Nothing worked..

The fluids last night brought her BGs down to 104 this morning. She wouldn't eat breakfast with out a good helping of dry food, so I tested her when I got home, and she was in the mid 300s.. so I gave her some insulin then. I wonder if I shouldn't be giving her fluids twice a day.. 1/2 in the AM and 1/2 in the PM to help flush things out.. *shrug* no idea. Em is being a huge mystery to me right now.

Quick Em update

She's now on 5mg of pred in the AM and 2.5 in the PM.. and I'm thinking I should do 5mg BID.. I don't want to, because it is absolutely admiting that things are getting worse.. But I just need to bite that bullet for her sake.

the puss is mostly gone from her nose, we are back to bloody drainage.. it is also making her eye water at this point.

I'm thinking she needs fluids on a regular basis, so I made an appointment for a recheck with the vet tomorrow morning

She's lost more weight, and is barely 9 pounds now..

I love her so much. It hurts when she doesn't want to lay on me for extended periods. She comes, she sits, she leaves. I don't know if sitting on me hurts, or if getting patted does.. but she leaves.

although this morning I woke up after sleeping on my side, and she was sitting on top of me.. I love that.

I love you Em..

put the ark away for another day

Em is stable at 9.5 pounds.. Miss Molly and Miss Martha are back to feeding their kits very well. I still supplement them once a day, but I think that is more for me, than because they need it. I was concerned about the 'what ever dude' kitten, since he was skin and bones... but I gave him 3ccs one night, he took 6 the next. he feels like he's got more meat on him now.. still incredibly laid back.. but things look good.

The buff boys who were sneezing and having problems keeping their eyes unglued are doing much better. The bigger one is in fact the biggest of all the kittens.. eyes are staying open, active, and can scream with the best of them :)

I still can't seem to get the mothers to eat very much, but I'm sure they'll pull through just fine.

Em spent a lot of the weekend outside with us as we did yard work. I swear she does better when she gets outside. but that could just be me projecting. This morning there was blood in her nasal drainage.. Could just be from the fact that her nasal passage is quite irritated from everything going on. Hopefully it was just that little bit, and I won't get home to blood all over the house.