Well this has been a tough month for me

I am going to go a little off topic today, and I hope you don't mind. If you want to skip this, I totally understand.

Many of you know I am a pretty strong introvert. I often joke I am a cat, because I find many of the traits in my cats are ones I have myself. I am also shy and have some social anxiety - I am unsure if that is because of my nature of my experiences in the world.  Probably a bit of both.

Things started going south for me when I took home Lena and Lori. I do not regret taking them in the least, and I would do it again, but dealing with those two weak painfully thin little things clinging to life was draining. I expected to find them dead each time I went into the kitten room for the first few days. I then expected they wouldn't survive despite their improvement.

This brought about the first time I was attacked recently.  Someone on facebook thought it necessary to stomp all over me for my venting a little that these kittens smelled badly.  I don't stand for that and the red headed temper of mine took over and I stood up for myself and my choices. It wasn't necessary because those who had followed me for any length of time knew that her words were all false, but I couldn't help myself and I felt better for it. It did not make the attack on me personally any easier on me though. No matter how much I KNEW this woman was in the wrong, it hurt.

We then moved into the holiday. I tend to feel overwhelmed and like I didn't do enough for everyone. So I went into the holiday with a plan to do a minimal holiday and I felt so weird doing it. There was quite a bit of guilt and discomfort because of the changes, but it did make the whole holiday go a bit smoother and I didn't suffer the post holiday letdown that usually plagues me.  Which brings us to the new year which always depresses me greatly. I have no idea why, it just does. Then my husband developed a cough that he still has not gotten rid of that impacts my ability to get a full night's sleep..

And there was the death of Lori..

I have also recently had issues with Jack that I haven't shared, but we seem to have them under control.  I had some projectile vomiting with Muffin, but I think I understand the reason behind that too, and she appears to be feeling better as well. Eli recently ended up in hospital with urinary issues and I'm watching him like a hawk.. well lets just say it has been stressful and I am sad to admit that I ended up focusing on all that went wrong and not how much has gone right.

Now 11 days into January I was starting to see the end of that tightening the tunnel of stress.  I was hoping I could stop myself from focusing on the carp and start focusing on the good. The kittens were recently tested and came out negative and their trip out of the house really did them some good in terms of their socialization..  I am out of food in the house because it has been so cold neither one of us wanted to go grocery shopping but it is a nicer day today and that is on the agenda.

And then I log into facebook.

*sigh*

just the other day I found someone at Kitten Central of Placer County had taken one of my favorite photos that is 12 years old and used it for their facebook profile pic. I was uncomfortable with this because I work with a stock agency and we deal with "thieving bastards" all the time (words the woman use at work when they find someone who has lifted an image off the internet and used it in their page).  I wanted to believe this rescue did this with the best of intentions, but theft is still theft. I contacted them via the post generated when they uploaded asking for credit.  I was polite and gave myself credit for the image, but I thought it only fair they give credit. Time went by and there was no reply by the rescue but they had a new post to their page.

I sat around considering my options.  I went and visited their page again and saw they actively fundraise through their page and this made me even more uncomfortable. I contacted facebook.

One of my friends on facebook contacted the rescue privately and their reply was less than stellar in my opinion. I was blamed for not watermarking my image. The comments seemed to me were very much CYA that they do that and I never contacted them.. which I did, but apparently only PMs matter.

So I messaged them, and was trying to be kind and helpful and again asked for credit and warned them that there are people like the company I work for who would sue them. I shared with them links, including my own about copyright (on that page I said no one had stolen my images yet which kind of stung)

Since they are a rescue I wanted to help. I wanted them to understand what they are opening themselves up to by taking images off the internet and I wanted to help them understand and avoid that in the future.

well the reply I got was nice, but still CYA. They did nothing wrong and no mention of giving me credit. yeah, well whatever.  The image was down at this point and I figured it was a lost cause and was willing to write it off. Then the morning came.

Which apparently gave them more time to think about my telling them they did something wrong and for that I got a "shame on you" I was told to go away and never contact them again.

Yeah, just what I needed.  I was trying to be helpful and trying to get credit for something that was mine. I wasn't threatening, I didn't ask for anything other than credit.. and now I'm the bad guy. (I posted the entire exchange on my facebook page if you are interested..)

Because really that makes sense doesn't it? Apparently this completely volunteer run rescue doesn't have time for knowing about the law or reading case studies.. (I didn't link case studies, I linked websites that explained the legal issues)

So now I just want to say carp it all and leave the internet. I know that is a shock reaction to a personal attack, but it hit a nerve. So I only really have two options, leave or face it. This is my way of facing this. I know what they did was wrong, I know that I was trying to be helpful and they chose to only see the 'attack' of my pointing out what they did was wrong (maybe that is what they think I should be ashamed of).

Look, we all have our own bad days and our own life messes, and I can only hope their own "life mess" caused these women to react so poorly and my own emotional mess of the past few weeks that is causing me to take it so badly. I know leaving the internet really isn't an option... but right now I think I will go and cuddle some kittens and some cats and then go shopping and spend some time with my husband and my cats and in the mean time focus on what is going right and work on spending less time on focusing on what is wrong..

So basically if you don't see me as much around for a little while, that is probably why..

either that or Muffin had laid down on my head and suffocated me..

first post of a new blog.. sorta

well okay, I'm transferred over to google blogger. I resisted.. horribly resisted.. but finally I had no choice.

So here I am (not that you'd notice a difference). and I have lots to report on Emerald.

Let's see.. looks back to last post.. Em went back to begging for food. food is a major issue in her life. She refuses to eat her entire dinner in one sitting. She likes to eat a few bites, leave the safety of 'her room' wander around the house a bit, then go back and have some more. Only problem is every time she enters and exits 'her room' she risks letting in the other kitties who have no problem eating all her food in one sitting... so now she's left without any food, and that's not good. I don't know what else to try with her or them. I've tried making that room scary for them. I've tried yelling at them, I've tried smacking them (only after yelling, they know full well what they are doing is wrong) I've tried making just the noise of Em going in her room a bad thing, but it is what draws them to her. If they don't make it in when she's going in, they just sit around and wait for her to come back out. I don't want to lock her in there full time, and I don't want to lock them downstairs all day.. arrrgh

This battle had Em down to 10 lbs 8 oz. I was certain I was going to have to take her to the vet. I explained if she lost any more weight she'd have to go. Well, she's back up to 10 lbs 15.5 oz.. so at least we are going in the right direction.. of course now (I weighed her this morning) she's got a stuffed up nose. At least there is no blood this time

Her insulin levels have been all over the place too. She started getting picky about her food, so she wasn't eating, (weight loss, wacky BGs) so we went out and bought her several different varieties of food. I tried to make sure they all were grain free, or good for her, but apparently, they weren't, cause her BGs were all over the place. So now I'm just about out of test strips. *sigh* I ordered some on ebay, but I have a feeling they aren't going to show up. I should probably buy some more, but I know if I overbuy, then I'm not going to have a use for them all (yes, negative thinking.. but I want only good things. I want to have to buy more in the future... )

***

I also went in and had a conversation with the foster care coordinator at the shelter where I foster. For a reminder, I am very reluctant to foster again due to the extreme opinions of some of the health care providers there and their putting me off and putting me off when I say that my kittens NEED more help. The force feeding issue with Cruiser, and how he was acting as if I was drowning him. Teddy's eyes, and how now they still water probably due to a blocked or partial block due to how long they left him with bad eyes. How Cruiser was practically dead.. It frustrates and infuriates me. I know they need to be proactive in keeping their costs down, but this was insane, and I don't want to run into that again. The FCC was very surprised I felt this way, and that I was treated this way. I didn't want to confront the person who put me off, cause she is also a shelter manager, and I hate confrontations.. so she's going to put out a questionnaire and see if anything else comes in. I doubt it will.. but hopefully a few other people who know the difference in treatment when you see someone who cares not only about the cats but the people caring for them and when you see someone who's only concern is the bottom line.

*sigh*

I miss having kittens. I suppose I could volunteer for another shelter, but the next two closest ones are still very far away. I guess I'll give it one more try, but if I still get put off, I'm going to have to figure something else out..

Diane Sawyer get real!!

I first heard about this on Good Morning America. I was thrilled to see this offense get some air time. However, Diane Sawyer asked something to the effect 'does this punishment fit the crime, since cats often spend all night out in the wild anyway' Um.. Diane.. Nine of these cats DIED! Do ya think they were meant to live outside?? Yes, cats live outside, but their survival rate is atrocious. You know, thinking about it, there are humans who live outside all the time too.. They are called the homeless. Diane Sawyer needs a good education on the plight of homeless pets.


OHIO JUDGE RULES THAT WOMAN WHO
ABANDONED CATS WILL SUFFER THE SAME FATE

The News-Herald, Nov. 18, 2005 -- Michelle Murray will now have
the opportunity to experience what the dozens of kittens felt the
night she abandoned them at two Lake Metroparks in September.
Painesville, Ohio, Municipal Court Judge Michael A. Cicconetti
on Thursday sentenced Murray, 25, of Painesville Township, to jail
time.
But he added a stipulation to ensure that Murray "suffer the
same consequences as those kittens."
"You can listen to the coyotes, hear the raccoons in the dark of
night," said Cicconetti, who grew increasingly annoyed at Murray's
apology attempts in court.
On the night before Thanksgiving, when Murray reports to the
Lake County Jail in Painesville, she will be forced to spend a night
alone in a remote area of a Lake County Metropark, according to
Cicconetti sentence. Being allowed only water, she will not be
provided with food, beverage or shelter.
Murray must remain in that location until "the light of dawn on
Nov. 24," according to the sentence.
Ranger Chief Mike Burko said he has not yet chosen the
Metropark, but will provide her with a walkie-talkie in case of
emergency.
Cicconetti, known for his unusual sentences, gave Murray the
maximum sentence of 90 days in jail. But the judge suspended 60 days
and allowed 15 days to be served under house arrest. After returning
from the wild on Thanksgiving, she will serve 14 days in the Lake
County Jail.
The suspended jail time hinges on two conditions:
1) Murray may not own or care for any animals in the next three years.
2) She must pay $3,200 to the Lake County Humane Society and
$500 to the Metropark rangers for costs they incurred due to her
actions.
"I'm sorry. I truly am sorry. I never meant for any of this to
happen," Murray told the judge before the sentence. She said she
tried to contact the Lake County Humane Society, but eventually
panicked after three cages of cats were dropped off at her home.
"It doesn't make any difference," the judge said. "People panic
and commit crimes, they use drugs, they commit domestic violence.
But this wasn't one incident. You did it again the next day."
Murray admitted to using another alias on a Web site to try to
adopt out another stray cat since she pleaded guilty to abandoning
domestic animals on Oct. 13. She said she used the fake name because
nobody would take a cat from her if she used her own name. That cat
was eventually adopted by the Humane Society, but was so ill, it was
euthanized the day it came in.
Candace Hertzel, executive director of the Lake County Humane
Society, said 15 of the kittens that were rescued had been adopted.
Twelve still remain without homes.
"We're very pleasantly surprised by the sentence. It's a small
piece of justice suffered for some of these already deceased
kittens," Hertzel said outside the courtroom following the sentence.
Prosecutor Russ Meraglio said he was pleased as well. He had
recommended jail time for the second-degree misdemeanor.
Sharon Moten, who gave a mother cat and four kittens to Murray
10 days prior to her abandoning the animals, still felt the guilt of
not knowing the fate of all of her cats.
"I told her to call me if she couldn't handle them," Moten said.
She hoped the sentence would prompt donations to the Humane Society.
"It's one of the only ways I can feel better about what
happened," she said.

stupid neighbors

ARRRRGH!!! I can't tell you how glad I am that I am moving. One of my neighbors has a big black dog, they have called Cosmo, that they just let run loose in my neighborhood.. I've called the ACO on them several times after we moved here.. but that didn't stop them for long. Several times I have had to send him home.. once I even grabbed his collar and walked him home, because he was up on my porch scaring the carp out my cats.

 Yesterday he ran right through my yard..

Today they are out at the bus stop, and he's out running around.. There is a TON of doggie prints in the freshly fallen snow... right out front of MY house.. he was barking at my cats.. they are completely freaked out. So I throw on my shoes and storm out there.. and he has the audacity to talk to me about the snow.. *rolls eyes* I'm walking out there in jeans and a thin shirt with my hair an absolute mess.. I told them last time I walked the dog home that I have a cat with a heart condition and so I tell them yet again.. and he said okay.. and tried to make the dog stay with him.. but I know that won't last long.. But hopefully it will be long enough that the kitties wont need to deal with him again until we leave.. Now even 10 minutes after the fact, I can see them all on alert.. Poor things.