Kit; Saying Goodbye

Kit from 2011 

Nov 11, 2007 

Daddy's first cuddle 

The day or the day after she was born May 15th 

I knew losing Kit would be hard, but I didn't realize just how hard it would be. Kit was 100% my husband's cat, as I'm sure you are well aware.. 

She would find use for me when I had broccoli or had a blanket over my lap but, on the whole, she far preferred her favorite human, and I can't say I blame her.

I miss her, I do. I adored her because of how happy she made him. What has been hardest on me though is watching him grieve for her. As an empath, I feel it quite keenly and nothing makes me tear up faster than thinking of things that she will no longer be a part of... like crawling up on his chest to watch Charlie Brown Thanksgiving specials.. (which we were able to do one last time)

Kit's last photo.

Nine years was not nearly enough, but sadly it was what we had. In time, we will be able to smile because it happened but right now it still just hurts.

Her last days were hard. When she was diagnosed with lymphoma, I knew it was going to take her quickly because of how fast it popped up. We did not want her to suffer but we were not willing to let go easily. We had multiple discussions about just when to let her go. How do you tell when a cat who has a large lump on her throat is ready to go? At the time of diagnosis, she was still very much "Kit" and I could have gone a few more weeks before I found out it was going on if I hadn't put my hands on her that day. The vet said three to six months which would put her end of life somewhere in the new year - we hoped. But the more I thought about it, the less sure I was. The prednisolone put weight on her and seemed to make the tumor shrink a bit, so I had ideas that we would easily get through Thanksgiving, but we would have to make a decision after that. I spoke to my husband about it quite a bit in those last few days, preparing him that it was coming.

As the days went on, it became clear it was going to be close. She went off her food but happily ate treats. She was maintaining her weight. Yes, treats are not a balanced and appropriate diet, but it would have gotten us through Thanksgiving if the tumor didn't have a mind of its own.

I had taken a few days off to do things around the house but instead it turned into convalescence care for her. It became more and more apparent that her time was measured in hours and not in days. I wanted to make the appointment for Thursday but the vet didn't have an opening. They had a Friday early afternoon which sadly they had to postpone for a few hours.

The sunset on Thursday.

I wanted to make Kit as happy as I could. I dug out her favorite pillow that we had to put away a few years ago because it had a hole that was causing the pellets inside to fall out. I had such grand plans for making her a new one, I did. I have all of the components in my craft room except the stretchy fabric on the bottom. I looked everywhere.. I thought I had time.

She took to it immediately.

Waiting on Friday

Because she travels poorly, I had plans to give her a sedative and some Pepcid to make the journey easier but the tumor had advanced to the point where giving it to her was one of the most difficult things I've ever done.  When the time came, my husband opted to hold her instead of putting her in a carrier. We drove up and while the sedative helped it was still quite hard on all of us.  Her passing was a simple affair that we both were there for. We brought her favorite green blanket and she opted to lay on the floor.

A single star in the middle of the night's sky leads us home.
Nov 11th, 2016

The Crew adjusted very well to her passing. Skippy and Twee have stepped up to occupy the spot on my husband's chest that has been vacant. Fleurp is sleeping on the bed more often now. Everyone lost an ounce or two because they aren't being over fed (since he insisted on giving her a full portion of food despite her eating far less)

One day..