Saying goodbye

 Seventeen years ago this improbable kitten came into my life. Born at 1.7 oz, less than half the size you would expect a kitten to be, I was told to expect him not to make it. I didn't think that was acceptable and I fought tooth and nail to save him. I was so new at fostering, there was so much I didn't know but somehow we made it through.

He was special. I loved him hard and giving him up was a challenge. I sat there on adoption day both loving and dreading it. When his folks walked in, looking for an older kitty but enchanted by my boys, I talked to them about kittens and then encouraged them to look at the older kitties. They came back and they wanted my "Peanut". I suggested they adopt "Gonzo" who was a good fit for him and the deal was done. Their new mom promised to give me updates.

I was really quite shocked when she did. So many people promise that and so few follow through or they think one update is.. IDK, bothering me? (Totally not!!) but Ann reached out to me once a year or so (sometimes more, sometimes less) to let me know things were going well. She shared a few of their challenges and several of their joys.

I was so thrilled earlier this month when she included me in their 17th birthday. The photo made me laugh. It was hard to see Treads declining, but I knew it was happening so it wasn't a shock.

What was a shock was just a few weeks later to learn of his passing.

It has been seventeen years since I held him, and I am reduced to a puddle at this news. While I am thrilled he lived so long, and happy that he was a part of my life throughout, the idea of no more photos and updates about him......

Yeah, I loved that cat.. oh who am I kidding, I love that cat.. he was a special soul, that is for certain..

My heart goes out to Miles for the loss of his brother and for his human peeps who miss him dearly. - and while it is out, I think I'll just go mainline some chocolate and grab a box of tissues and sob..

My Unrequited Loves

Yes, Bowie and Crema are back. Previously I called them The Boy and The Girl but now I'm calling them Ash and Abigail.

They were adopted out by the shelter as "Spirit Cats" but the family that adopted them weren't quite ready for their nature. I give them immense amounts of credit for trying as hard and as long as they did but there were kids involved and I respect the decisions they made.

They were comfortable in the house, but still not comfortable with me. I tried harder and harder to make friends with them but I realized that was just making things worse so I started ignoring them. I show up, I give them treats, the wand toy gets waved around a bit..

and despite the looks I often get, as long as the grabby hands stay reigned in they are okay with me.

I love them so much.. even the looks they give me, even the snarling at me when I dare to offer treats a little too closely.. my heart aches to hold them and give them a good huffing.. but alas, that is not to be.

I thought I had a good placement for them, but it didn't work out, so these two are looking for someone who has it in their heart to hang out with a couple of really adorable kittens who like deli meat and do kinda want to be around you but have some serious PTSD when it comes to hands and towels.