Should we change the title of this blog?

To the Emmy blog?

Let me just post that I hate the new blogger format. I can't type in HTML without losing my entire post and have to retype it. *arrrgh* The first round was emotionally difficult enough..

So Em didn't have a great night. She was starving, and this morning her BGs were high, and her nose was cemented shut with goop. She hated having me clean it off.. but I think she was glad to have it clear. She was very excited to have breakfast... so much so she was very easy to medicate. She knows that once that is done she gets food. The last couple of days have actually been beyond easy. I'd think she was hiding and not actually swallowing the pills if they weren't so huge.

I am stressing kind of bad. I need to let go of that. Because it is either an infection and the meds will clear her up and I'll have her around for a long time, or it is a brain tumor (I hate typing brain tumor - ranks right up there in my mind with alien abduction because I'm always quick to throw out brain tumor when listing things that COULD go wrong) and I've got a few more months with her and there is NOTHING I can do about it

I forced the talk with the DH about what is going to happen when the time comes. Even if it isn't cancer, she's eventually going to go, and it will be good to have the conversation anyway. I personally think a general cremation is a good idea. I feel bad about not wanting the ashes or a body back afterward. Working at the vet, and spending a lot of time around other pet lovers who bury the body or keep the ashes and find great comfort in that... I feel like I must be lacking something to not want it. I have had two other cats put down before.. Melody a stray with FELV and Kodi the foster we adopted with FIP. I didn't keep either one of them, but I didn't have them around very long. DH commented we didn't have Kodi around long enough to get attached; to which I laughed I get attached after the first day!

But we've had Emerald for 16 yrs..

I remember the first time I saw her. She came through a friend of a friend of a friend,they picked her out and brought her over to me. We played with her on the kitchen table, when she started looking around and trying to get off the table. I thought she might need a litter box, so we took her outside and she promptly went to the flower bed and did her duty :) We took her home, and her first litter box was the cover to the record player we had because our current litter box was too high for her to jump in. She was way too young to be taken away from her mom.. and she tried to nurse on Tigger - our first cat. He never forgave her for that. Peace eventually settled, but they were never close. Also turns out that the people where she was born couldn't tell the difference between boy cats and girl cats.. because when we went to have Em spayed, she was castrated instead.. but we were used to calling her a her, and she acts like a girl, so that is how she remained.

Em never liked other cats. Guess her experience with Tig taught her they weren't nice. So when we got the opportunity to get Ollie, I brought him home and put him in the rabbit cage we own. Em was taught to leave things in cages alone. She wasn't fooled and hissed, but after a bit of convincing, she grudgingly allowed him to live in HER house. Then the fosters came.. by then Em realized that kittens were fun to lick - her favorite past time.. Now she loves all the other kitties.

I must say I'm glad for the other kitties. They provide great distraction.. and if need be, I can get fosters for even more :D