In reply to the comment

I'm sorry I can't address you by name, as I want to thank you for your comment.

As this is text, I want to make sure you know that I honestly appreciate your comment. It helped. Going through Em's illness, I find I am forgetting all the advice I've ever learned about care of ill pets. When Em had her first nose bleed, I wanted to rush her in to the vet - even though he was closed. I called my friend - who owns six cats and who works for my vet - and she calmed me down and reminded me that as long as she has input and output it could probably wait. She's been a sanity saver on several other points as well.

I spent a year and a half working for a vet, and I have seen owners keep their pets around way longer than they should have. I am doing my best to make sure I don't do that. It is so hard on me because I feel bad keeping her around knowing that she's only going to get worse, and going to continue to suffer bad spells. But then I see her joy over going outside, or getting treats, and I see that spark of life and get the feeling she is not ready yet, and I think if I force her to leave too soon, I'd be doing that for me. It is such a fine line - one I agonize over every day. Hearing your story helps me keep things in perspective, and I do appreciate it.

Now that you have mentioned your story, I can see that the "thing" she was probably asking for was help with what she was suffering through. I couldn't do anything at the time but up her prenisolone and hope that helped. Breathing issues are so scary.. Fortunately after 2 doses, she cleared up nicely and is back to where she was. She's back to begging for treats and wanting to go outside. With the vet's very recent exam of her and stating she was doing very well, I think we have some time left, and it was the eye drops that caused this latest episode.

I take each episode very seriously, and I think if they start coming faster or lasting longer than a day, I'll need to schedule with Dr. Brion for her crossing. It is all paid for, and he's agreed to come out to the house..

I hope this doesn't come across as me trying to justify things.. but just a deeper explanation.. and a thank you for your comment.

And finally my deepest condolences for your loss. While you didn't get a proper goodbye, I am sure your kitty knew.