Friday, December 19, 2014

When you foster, things like this happen...


I got an email today and I was debating not sharing this with you, but I realized that to be true to myself and this blog I really needed to, plus you are going to find out anyway... but you'll realize that at the end of this post..

Yes, this is bad news.  I'm sorry... Here, let's start with this..

seriously, aren't they freakin adorable?


Okay, so back to the bad news.

Lori died.


I know, quite a shock isn't it?  I don't believe I mentioned to you that I thought Lori was born without a breast bone.  I only realized it about a week or so ago when she started developing little mats in her fur directly under her rib cage and I found she had a little divot there. I have had a couple of kittens over the years that had this same deformity and they all seemed to be just fine.  I did mention it to the staff when I brought them in this morning and they mentioned it to the vet.

(I also want to mention how everyone who saw them remarked at how well they were looked and were doing.. They improved so dramatically it was nice to see that recognized)

I spoke to the vet after I found out what had happened, and he said that sometimes when they have this type of deformity the pericardial sack can be attached to the wall of the chest and cause some serious problems.  He said they usually have very strong heart murmurs when it happens and he did not hear any of that with her, so he felt it was safe to continue. She lived through the surgery and arrested as they were bringing her out of it.  He worked to save her but it wasn't to be.

I asked him if he had been able to save her if she would have had a good quality of life and he said he believed that she wouldn't. He believes that as she continued to grow the attachment would have made it more and more difficult for her heart to work properly and it might even have had an effect on her lungs. The chances that her quality of life would have been impeded until she died was great. I take a small amount of solace in that, that and she died knowing she was loved, that she had regular meals and a lifetime of kisses.

What really hurts is Lena has been left behind without her sister.

Lena and her little shaved belly
I brought her home to recoup from the surgery in familiar surroundings. She was very interested in interacting with the new kittens before this so once she has healed up a bit from the surgery I intend to introduce them and let them distract her from the fact that her sister isn't here any more. When I let her out of the carrier she wandered all around the room; part of me wanted to believe it was just because she was drunk and she just wanted to situate herself, but part of me thought she was searching for her sister.  She is having a hard time coming out of the sedation, her body is jerking a lot, she doesn't seem to want to lay on anything soft. It was breaking my heart, so I left her down there with Happy Bear and I removed the barrier to the new kittens so they can help distract her when she comes out of it a bit more.

I intend to keep her here for a while. I do not know how long.. I am thinking at least through Christmas.  We'll make that decision on a day to day basis..  Maybe she will tell me that she doesn't want to be here any more and is ready to move on, maybe she will fall in love with the babies and want to stay with them. I just do not know. Because she is going to be here, she will be on the webcam and she will be in the photos

I am so going to hiss at you.. but not at Lena.. I like her.. 
So yes, when you foster you have a lot of joy.. but you also choose tears.. it is the gift I have to give to these kittens, and I give it willingly.  Yes, it hurts, but it is a very small price to pay.

30 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry to hear about Lori. Poor sweet little girl, thankfully her short life was good after she came to you. I hope Lena feels better soon and settles in with the kittens.

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  2. Omg I'm so sorry for your loss. I share your pain and sending purrs from me and my fosters.

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  3. I am so sad to hear this. And sadder still for Lena. :-( Lori touched a lot of lives in her short time here on earth, so our hearts are breaking along with yours.

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  4. I'm so sorry that Lori died. It seems that it probably was the best outcome for her, given her long term prognosis, but oh how heart-wrenching. Bless you for your limitless love and caring, Connie. That you're able to foster and give them such wonderful starts in life in spite of the losses and pain is a testament to your own "heart" and spirit.

    Peace.

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  5. I am so sorry. It is this heartbreak that make it so hard for me to even think about fostering. Lori had been given love in her short life, I'm sure of that. Hugs.

    Emma and Buster

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  6. Oh no.....we are so very sorry. You gave her every chance and so much love....and sometimes that is most important. Purrs

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  7. I'm so very sorry to hear the sad news about Lori. Thank you showing her such love and comfort while he stayed with you. My heart goes out to sweet Lena for the loss of her sister. I'm so glad she gets to stay a little longer with you and has some precious little kittens to help distract her from such a big loss.

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  8. *hugs* to you. I'm so sorry for your loss. :(

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  9. So very sad, but you made her short life full of love and tenderness - may she rest in peace. Sending gentle consoling purrs to you and dear little Lena.
    Purrs ... Rainbow

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  10. ::tears::

    Thank you for showing Lori love, and providing her with such a wonderful place. She went from one Heaven to the next. xx Trish

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  11. Poor sweet Lori. Thank you for caring for that wee beauty.

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  12. Anonymous8:11 PM

    Oh, sorry! She was a happy healthy and CLEAN little fuzzball because of your care, and she didn't suffer. I hope Lena bonds with the new group and they are all good for each other!

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  13. I'm so sorry! At least she was happy with you and knew love.

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  14. Choose tears always - ALWAYS - akes me cry. Like right now. I'm so, SO very sorry. You gave her love and strength and courage. She came out of her shell because of you. I worried when I heard you mention her breastbone - not because of that but because of a cat we had at Wayside who had to be adopted out to a VERY careful owner who would understand how very gently she had to be treated, because without the breastbone her organs were so unprotected.

    Oh, I'm just soooo sorry. *running to find kleenex box*

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  15. Oh no I am so sorry Connie. Hope Lena bonds with the other kitties and recovers quickly. Purrs to you.

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  16. I'm so very sorry about Lori. Truly sorry.

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  17. Heartbroken for you losing sweet Lori. So very sad. (((hugs)))

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  18. Oh no! I am so sorry... My heart is aching for Lena and for you. And I am cuddling my foster fail close tonight. ❤️

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  19. Oh no!Too many losses this week Human and Furry alike,Hugs,xx

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  20. Oh gosh. We're so sorry to hear about Lori. Our hearts are breaking along with yours. Purrs that Lena is okay.

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  21. So so so sad. Sending extra purrs to you all and Lena.

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  22. That is so sad about Lori and my heart breaks for Lena without her. Also, sorry you had to go through this too.

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  23. Oh Connie! I'm so sorry.
    The poor little dot was loved and cherished for the short time she was with you - that is a comfort at least.
    XO

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  24. We're sorry to hear about Lori. On the other side, it seems to have been "better" for her given the prognosis. Her short life has been full of love thanks to you. We hope the kittens will help Lena to go through this. We send you gentle headbonks. Purrs

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  25. Oh no. This is unbelievably heart-breaking news. Connie, we are so sorry to hear this and send you much love. As we had expressed, we have fallen in love with the girls and are so utterly sad to hear about this unexpected passing of Lori. We are sad for Lena to be without her sister for the first time, thank God she has you and the kittens for this next bit anyhow. We so wish we could adopt Lena, in fact it breaks out hearts because we can't, we have had a special place in our hearts for both of them. Sending gentle purrs to you and Lena and much love to Lori in kitty heaven. Thank you for providing a loving and safe place for Lori while she was here and thank you for helping both of them with their health, socialization and trust.

    Be Well Sweet Lori

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  26. Also sending purrs and prayers to Lena for her recovery from the anesthetic and recovery from the surgery, we hope she is feeling and doing better by now.

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  27. I'm sorry to hear about Lori. It hard when a loss like that comes so suddenly. Hopefully Lena will recover from surgery quickly and will find comfort and fun with the new kittens.

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  28. I'm so very sorry this happened, yet I thank you for your honesty. I hope Lena will adjust this change. Sending hugs.

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  29. I am so sorry to hear this. Lori and Lena were such an adorable pair. Poor Lena. It is fortunate that you have the kittens now, and I know you will watch Lena closely to see how she progresses.
    Purrs.

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  30. I completely missed this post - I've noticed that only one black floof was in your photos recently, but I thought it was because one of them got adopted. Then I read in your post a couple of days ago that Lena "lost" Lori, so I searched through all your posts and found it… wow… what a heartbreaking shock! I hope that Lena is doing better and that the presence of the other kites is helping. I'm so sorry to hear this news. But I feel better (and I hope you do too) knowing that you gave her the best life possible. She was loved and very well taken care of. You brought her from the brink of death, and showed her what life and love as a kitty is all about. She was a lucky girl.

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