Friday, December 23, 2016
Momma is the worst thing ever
I, Eli, was sitting nicely under the Christmas tree enjoying the lights when that woman that wants me to call her momma came over and asked me to come out. I didn't want to, so I just ignored her. Thankfully she went away but a minute later she was back - with a roll of wrapping paper in her hand.
This was it, I just knew it. Fourteen years of waiting for her to try to eat me and it was finally going to happen. She tried to herd me towards her but I was having *none of that* and bolted past the evil wrapping paper monster (WPM) and bolted for the basement. The WPM flew through the air to make it into the basement before me, so I turned tail and went into the office. There is a big chair I can hide in. I heard the lady who wants me to call her momma talk softly to me, trying to make me believe that the WPM wasn't going to get me and she was going to protect me. I was not buying it.
She opened up the door to my favorite sunroom. I know how cold it is in there, I was not being fooled. When she came to get me, I bolted and ran down the hall to the bedroom. A king bed is an easy place to hide from her.
She shut the door, evil woman, and proceeded to attempt to get me to come out. She knew that waiting for me to calm down was not going to work - I am more stubborn than she is - so she proceeded to shove things under the couch to get me to leave. I would, but I would run right back under there when she would stand up.
So she then started ... get this.. *throwing things at me*!!! that evil woman kept throwing pillows and sweaters at me!! I was so sure she was going to eat me that I started yelling at her to stop. She didn't!!! I ran into the bathroom hoping to escape her, but she just closed me in there with her and scooped me up...
I tried telling her that this was completely unacceptable and I attempted to explain to her that good manners were important (by not trying to scratch her and run away) but she just kept repeating "yes, Yes, I know" (she didn't know) and "It will be okay" (nothing about this was okay). Then she shoved me in a box and shut me in. This was not okay.
I heard Muffin mewing a few moments later and then I felt myself being lifted up and put in the car. I hate traveling at high rates of speed. I sang the song of my people and called upon the ancestors to protect me. I think it helped because I'm here. My favorite ballad is the one where I'm quite for a while then screech out like someone just ripped off my leg.
We got to the vet, and Muff went first. Good.. feel free to ignore me, people. They talked about her arthritis and treatment options. She is going to get a higher dose of adaquan and they talked about giving her fresh salmon in a crystal goblet on a silver plate. She had her bloods stolen, and the vet said her results should be back eventually.
It was my turn.. I tried to hide but they found me. The woman said my teeth were bad and I have to admit I thought about showing her just how good they were, but unlike her, I have manners. The vet looked and agreed. I was not impressed. They took me out back and stole my bloods too. They talked about how I'm starting to sing to my ancestors at night and freaking the woman out so they want to test my thyroid... people, I'm just singing.. nothing wrong with me!! and my chompers work just fine, although I'll admit my gums are a little inflamed.
I'm home now.. and I'm not happy. Muffin might be laying all over the momma, but I'm not so easy.. if she thinks one little treat is going to make me forget she tried to kill me, she has another thing coming.
Connie here. We talked about Eli's teeth. I've noticed some tartar on the inside of his mouth as well as the outside. It has been about 10 months since his last dental and I'm not happy that he is ready for another one. Because he does not like it when I purposefully get a hold of him brushing his teeth on a regular basis is not an option. I'll get him in for a cleaning in the new year, and get Twee in for her exam then. This will leave Skippy and Fleurp who will need to get in and I might wait until Spring to try to catch Fleurp's anemia.
We also talked about Muffin's arthritis. We are going to up the amount of Adaquan we are giving to her. I was originally giving her 0.15 ml, and now we are going to give her 0.25. Because there is no toxic limit, I could give her an entire ML, but we'll keep the new dose and see what happens. It has been six months since her last blood work, so we did that as well. We are monitoring her SDMA level which has been just over the line. The vet mentioned a probiotic that is supposed to help cats with higher kidney values. He doesn't think that her last set of blood work indicates that we should start it so I'm going to do some research on it. Hopefully, her current levels are still on the line and she hasn't gotten any worse.