Felv

I'm still kinda a mess, but I figure now is as good a time as any. So Andrew didn't eat on Sunday night or Monday morning. Nor was he interested in food on Monday night. I was getting concerned but I knew I was bringing them into the shelter today for their check-up anyway, so I didn't do much more than force some more food into him. Monday morning his stomach felt like he had eaten, just not when I was around, but by Monday night he seemed weak. Tuesday morning he seemed very weak and thin. He was having a hard time holding his head upright... just seemed to tilt to one side. I fed him, and he decided he wanted to jump down. I put him on the ground and he toddled off to the litter box. He seemed a little drunk. So I quickly medicated everyone except him and ran down to the shelter. They didn't like the way he was acting either so I left his sisters there while I took him to the vet. We had to wait a while, and Andrew decided to go to sleep.. and didn't I start to panic.. I kept telling him that he could not die. After losing his sister I didn't think I could handle it. The vet took a look at him and thought it might be leukemia, but thought it was a little late for it to be showing up. They started thinking it might just be an inner ear thing and started tossing around the word treatment. I was starting to hope when someone from the shelter called to tell them that his sisters tested positive, and pretty much that was that. I broke down in the vet's office. I hugged Andrew tight and eventually let him back into the carrier and back to the shelter we went. Kirsten gave me a big hug when I got there, and I broke down all over again. I know this was an emotional moment, but I didn't want to make the shelter workers feel any worse than they already did.

Andrew's sisters were still there in the carrier, so I put him back in with them and gave them all one last cuddle and hug and kissed their tummies before leaving. I'm not quite sure how I got myself out of there. Nor how I got home. I guess a lot of avoiding my feelings and denial.

Since the kits lived with the kittens, there is a chance they were infected. I need to keep them for six more weeks in case, which is the incubation period. *prays they weren't.. I have no idea how I'd survive losing them all*

(added in 2015 - FELV should not be an automatic death sentence as it was in the case of Andrew's family. Two of this litter died and it was obvious throughout my fostering of them that there were other issues. I still regret the entire family being euthanized, and if this happened today I might have fought to keep the remaining kittens with me for a few more weeks and have them tested again, but in 2002 no one would have adopted these kittens)