Not easy to talk about

posting in this blog has become kinda hard.

Anyway. I didn't take them in to be tested. I can wait. Either they are sick and I'll loose them, or they wont be. But I'd rather put off the loosing part till after the new year... although I suppose there is something to be said for putting your mind at ease, but they look healthy (well more in a minute) and so I'm keeping them here.

I moved them downstairs. Its chilly down there... I don't think the builder put enough insulation over there.. anyway.. a day or so after they moved down there the case of ear mites that I thought I would never get rid of pretty much cleared up. There is still a bit of debris in their ears, but one good cleaning should fix that right up. There was that incident with Scooter, but in the morning she was clamoring for food, so I was instantly relieved. The newest thing for me to fixate on is that fact that melvin seems to be loosing a bit of weight. I scooped the box last night and found what appeared to be blood. It was hard to be sure though. Every one else seems beyond fine, so I put melvin in the cage by himself with a fresh litter pan. I checked his sample in the morning, and besides being a little soft, it seemed fine. he's still not eating much, and he and izzy seem to have lost the pinkness in the tongue and the pads of their feet. That happens when they aren't getting enough nutrition. I gave them one of the two cans of high quality kitten food I was able to scrounge at the shelter when I went in on Tuesday. He seemed to like that a lot, but still didn't eat a whole heck of a lot of it. Guess I'm just comparing them to Em who eats .. and eats.. :) So I brought a few choice cuts of left over turkey down to them. they seemed to like that quite a lot, except bugsy who would have rather played. He's such a cutie. Im not spending a lot of time with them, and I feel bad about that... part of me wont let me spend a lot of time though.. guess we are back to that whole they could die thing. sigh.

No one in my family knows about the loss. I don't think my family could grasp what it meant to me. I just hold on to the fact that I know they had a great life. *must let this go and not think of it again*