Yet another Emmy update

Well lets see. Right after I posted in reply to the comment I got, I went and hung out with Em for a while. I was noticing she was still quite tired and morose. Its hard to call her lethargic, since there is such a fine line between who she's always been and lethargic :)

Each time she has a bleed, it takes a lot out of her, but she usually bounces back after 24 hours. Sunday I took her outside for a while. She went and sat in my garden for a little bit.. went to the warm pavement and took a small nap, then we went around to the side of the house and she smelled the lilac bushes (we moved them over there to get more sunlight) Em just sat there, in her "whatever" mode. I was getting eaten by bugs, so I gently picked her up and brought her in. She didn't struggle one bit. I got her in, laid her down on the ottoman where she's been spending a lot of time, and she didn't move.. just closed her eyes and was exhausted.

I was so certain I'd be calling Dr. Brion today.. certain of it. I was snapping at my husband, and doing my best not to break down.. We went to bed, and Em came and joined us in the middle of the bed - which I took as a good sign. We both tried to give her room, so she stretched out so she could touch both of us.

Sometime in the night she moved to the far side of me. When I woke up Em was glad to see me, licking me like she hasn't done in a while, and excited at the idea of breakfast.

Yea!

so, we are still on the winding road to that day, but hopefully it is nice and far away..

In reply to the comment

I'm sorry I can't address you by name, as I want to thank you for your comment.

As this is text, I want to make sure you know that I honestly appreciate your comment. It helped. Going through Em's illness, I find I am forgetting all the advice I've ever learned about care of ill pets. When Em had her first nose bleed, I wanted to rush her in to the vet - even though he was closed. I called my friend - who owns six cats and who works for my vet - and she calmed me down and reminded me that as long as she has input and output it could probably wait. She's been a sanity saver on several other points as well.

I spent a year and a half working for a vet, and I have seen owners keep their pets around way longer than they should have. I am doing my best to make sure I don't do that. It is so hard on me because I feel bad keeping her around knowing that she's only going to get worse, and going to continue to suffer bad spells. But then I see her joy over going outside, or getting treats, and I see that spark of life and get the feeling she is not ready yet, and I think if I force her to leave too soon, I'd be doing that for me. It is such a fine line - one I agonize over every day. Hearing your story helps me keep things in perspective, and I do appreciate it.

Now that you have mentioned your story, I can see that the "thing" she was probably asking for was help with what she was suffering through. I couldn't do anything at the time but up her prenisolone and hope that helped. Breathing issues are so scary.. Fortunately after 2 doses, she cleared up nicely and is back to where she was. She's back to begging for treats and wanting to go outside. With the vet's very recent exam of her and stating she was doing very well, I think we have some time left, and it was the eye drops that caused this latest episode.

I take each episode very seriously, and I think if they start coming faster or lasting longer than a day, I'll need to schedule with Dr. Brion for her crossing. It is all paid for, and he's agreed to come out to the house..

I hope this doesn't come across as me trying to justify things.. but just a deeper explanation.. and a thank you for your comment.

And finally my deepest condolences for your loss. While you didn't get a proper goodbye, I am sure your kitty knew.

Bad Day for Em

Yesterday/last night/ this morning was NOT a good one for either Em or myself..

The trip to the vet went ok, and that night she was fine. Thursday morning she was a little off.. her nose was a bit bloodier than normal. I had been using the eye drops.. so maybe those, or maybe I forgot a dose of her prenisone, but what ever the reason, by Thursday night Em was having a hard time breathing, had blood coming out of both of her nostrils and was pretty miserable. Didn't want to eat, didn't want to cuddle, just wanted to lay there and wheeze / snore / cough / sneeze. I upped her dose of pred thursday night to 7.5 mg, and gave her an appetite stimulant, and some fluids, and some more antibiotics. All night she lay there with her nose pointed to the ceiling, swallowing hard and wheezing.

This morning she didn't seem any different. I gave her another 7.5 mg dose of pred, more appetite stimulant, and more antibiotics. I felt horrible pilling her as she was having a hard time breathing. I gave her the yummiest food I could for breakfast.. but she could barely eat it because she couldn't smell it and every time she leaned down to take a bite everything shifted and she'd end up coughing / sneezing. The coughing got so bad I was sure she was going to vomit..

Somehow I left for work. I left her locked in the bathroom so she would have access to her food and no one else would sneak in with her and eat it all up (Muffin) I hated leaving her locked up, even though she has a nice bed in there, and her pee pads and her food.. but she was fine. Came home and walked in on her using the pee pads.

Her breathing is much better.. but she's a little dazed. She wants something, but she doesn't quite know what it is - or maybe she does, and I just can't figure it out. She is a cat of little brain, and even smaller needs.. food, love, food, and now a walk outside have always made her a happy camper. Nothing worked..

The fluids last night brought her BGs down to 104 this morning. She wouldn't eat breakfast with out a good helping of dry food, so I tested her when I got home, and she was in the mid 300s.. so I gave her some insulin then. I wonder if I shouldn't be giving her fluids twice a day.. 1/2 in the AM and 1/2 in the PM to help flush things out.. *shrug* no idea. Em is being a huge mystery to me right now.

Quick Em update

She's now on 5mg of pred in the AM and 2.5 in the PM.. and I'm thinking I should do 5mg BID.. I don't want to, because it is absolutely admiting that things are getting worse.. But I just need to bite that bullet for her sake.

the puss is mostly gone from her nose, we are back to bloody drainage.. it is also making her eye water at this point.

I'm thinking she needs fluids on a regular basis, so I made an appointment for a recheck with the vet tomorrow morning

She's lost more weight, and is barely 9 pounds now..

I love her so much. It hurts when she doesn't want to lay on me for extended periods. She comes, she sits, she leaves. I don't know if sitting on me hurts, or if getting patted does.. but she leaves.

although this morning I woke up after sleeping on my side, and she was sitting on top of me.. I love that.

I love you Em..

There is trouble in this world, and it is at my house

Well that little girl kitten.. the one poised to take over the world.. has learned to use litter.. She is too freakin smart for her own good!!

last night all but one of them had gotten out of the nesting boxes they had been in. she had been getting out for a few days now, but at this point everyone wants out. They have had a taste of real food. Some are ready to snack on it, most aren't. They still want mom.. which is understandable, as they are still so freakingly young!!

but last night since they were out of their box, there was little kitten droppings around the room. This isn't a habit I want them to start. I found a shallow box, and filled it with a small amount of litter. One by one I put them in it, and she started eating it. She didn't like it and started pawing at her mouth. Why is it kittens want to eat litter long before they want to eat food? Anyway.. I cleared her mouth, but she and every one else was confused by the litter so I gathered up the kitten droppings around the room and put them in the box, figuring that would help them figure this out.

Usually they just get it. They see mom using the box, and they start. But they are too advanced and yet too small to see over the box, so they haven't made the connection. So I then took the little spitfire girl and started to rub her to make her go pee. Once she started, i put her in the box.

She didn't seem to make the connection.

this morning I went down to make sure all was ok. Those kits love to see me.. it is so sweet!! Oscar is in love with me.. is right on top of my foot, and begging for attention (or maybe food) Anyway, I had set the kits up on the floor with a blanket and secured the area so they were limited with in the room. Don't want to have to move couches at this point to find them :D. well they went to the edge of the pen, and were all screaming at me, when the spitfire girl climbed into the litter box and started digging. I thought she was just playing, but then she stopped and stood there, and I heard her peeing!!

You know your pretty sad when you get all excited about kitten pee.. but OMG it is soo freakingly cute to have barely four week old kittens using the litter box..