Sunday, January 11, 2015

Well this has been a tough month for me


I am going to go a little off topic today, and I hope you don't mind. If you want to skip this, I totally understand.

Many of you know I am a pretty strong introvert. I often joke I am a cat, because I find many of the traits in my cats are ones I have myself. I am also shy and have some social anxiety - I am unsure if that is because of my nature of my experiences in the world.  Probably a bit of both.

Things started going south for me when I took home Lena and Lori. I do not regret taking them in the least, and I would do it again, but dealing with those two weak painfully thin little things clinging to life was draining. I expected to find them dead each time I went into the kitten room for the first few days. I then expected they wouldn't survive despite their improvement.

This brought about the first time I was attacked recently.  Someone on facebook thought it necessary to stomp all over me for my venting a little that these kittens smelled badly.  I don't stand for that and the red headed temper of mine took over and I stood up for myself and my choices. It wasn't necessary because those who had followed me for any length of time knew that her words were all false, but I couldn't help myself and I felt better for it. It did not make the attack on me personally any easier on me though. No matter how much I KNEW this woman was in the wrong, it hurt.

We then moved into the holiday. I tend to feel overwhelmed and like I didn't do enough for everyone. So I went into the holiday with a plan to do a minimal holiday and I felt so weird doing it. There was quite a bit of guilt and discomfort because of the changes, but it did make the whole holiday go a bit smoother and I didn't suffer the post holiday letdown that usually plagues me.  Which brings us to the new year which always depresses me greatly. I have no idea why, it just does. Then my husband developed a cough that he still has not gotten rid of that impacts my ability to get a full night's sleep..

And there was the death of Lori..

I have also recently had issues with Jack that I haven't shared, but we seem to have them under control.  I had some projectile vomiting with Muffin, but I think I understand the reason behind that too, and she appears to be feeling better as well. Eli recently ended up in hospital with urinary issues and I'm watching him like a hawk.. well lets just say it has been stressful and I am sad to admit that I ended up focusing on all that went wrong and not how much has gone right.

Now 11 days into January I was starting to see the end of that tightening the tunnel of stress.  I was hoping I could stop myself from focusing on the carp and start focusing on the good. The kittens were recently tested and came out negative and their trip out of the house really did them some good in terms of their socialization..  I am out of food in the house because it has been so cold neither one of us wanted to go grocery shopping but it is a nicer day today and that is on the agenda.

And then I log into facebook.

*sigh*

just the other day I found someone at Kitten Central of Placer County had taken one of my favorite photos that is 12 years old and used it for their facebook profile pic. I was uncomfortable with this because I work with a stock agency and we deal with "thieving bastards" all the time (words the woman use at work when they find someone who has lifted an image off the internet and used it in their page).  I wanted to believe this rescue did this with the best of intentions, but theft is still theft. I contacted them via the post generated when they uploaded asking for credit.  I was polite and gave myself credit for the image, but I thought it only fair they give credit. Time went by and there was no reply by the rescue but they had a new post to their page.

I sat around considering my options.  I went and visited their page again and saw they actively fundraise through their page and this made me even more uncomfortable. I contacted facebook.

One of my friends on facebook contacted the rescue privately and their reply was less than stellar in my opinion. I was blamed for not watermarking my image. The comments seemed to me were very much CYA that they do that and I never contacted them.. which I did, but apparently only PMs matter.

So I messaged them, and was trying to be kind and helpful and again asked for credit and warned them that there are people like the company I work for who would sue them. I shared with them links, including my own about copyright (on that page I said no one had stolen my images yet which kind of stung)

Since they are a rescue I wanted to help. I wanted them to understand what they are opening themselves up to by taking images off the internet and I wanted to help them understand and avoid that in the future.

well the reply I got was nice, but still CYA. They did nothing wrong and no mention of giving me credit. yeah, well whatever.  The image was down at this point and I figured it was a lost cause and was willing to write it off. Then the morning came.

Which apparently gave them more time to think about my telling them they did something wrong and for that I got a "shame on you" I was told to go away and never contact them again.

Yeah, just what I needed.  I was trying to be helpful and trying to get credit for something that was mine. I wasn't threatening, I didn't ask for anything other than credit.. and now I'm the bad guy. (I posted the entire exchange on my facebook page if you are interested..)

Because really that makes sense doesn't it? Apparently this completely volunteer run rescue doesn't have time for knowing about the law or reading case studies.. (I didn't link case studies, I linked websites that explained the legal issues)

So now I just want to say carp it all and leave the internet. I know that is a shock reaction to a personal attack, but it hit a nerve. So I only really have two options, leave or face it. This is my way of facing this. I know what they did was wrong, I know that I was trying to be helpful and they chose to only see the 'attack' of my pointing out what they did was wrong (maybe that is what they think I should be ashamed of).

Look, we all have our own bad days and our own life messes, and I can only hope their own "life mess" caused these women to react so poorly and my own emotional mess of the past few weeks that is causing me to take it so badly. I know leaving the internet really isn't an option... but right now I think I will go and cuddle some kittens and some cats and then go shopping and spend some time with my husband and my cats and in the mean time focus on what is going right and work on spending less time on focusing on what is wrong..

So basically if you don't see me as much around for a little while, that is probably why..

either that or Muffin had laid down on my head and suffocated me..

31 comments:

  1. Well. I've had months like this too and I TOTALLY understand! Priorities matter, and stupid people do not! I read something fun (and hysterically profane) yesterday...check it out:

    http://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck

    Bon Voyage...see you when you get back. xx Trish

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  2. Tough month sounds like the understatement of the century. I don't usually comment here, but I visit daily, and really enjoy your blog - both for both the kitty fix, and the education you provide. For what it's worth, I heartily support whatever you need to do for your sanity. I know it's sometimes impossible not to take personally what others do, regardless of how much you "know" they don't matter. I hope you know just how many people support you, and how much you- and your well-being- mean to us. You do what you need to do, and we'll be here when you're ready to come back.
    Best wishes, Carolyn

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  3. All I know to say is...mean people suck.

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  4. I saw your post on Facebook, and I hope you won't allow the words of a couple of ignorant (as in unknowing) people cause you to give up. You are correct, you've pointed out the error to them, and they have chosen to react as they have. We can no more control the reactions of others than we can change the direction of the wind, we only have our own reactions and emotions. I'm sure had you not had the stresses of the past month, this situation would have been less stressful. Hang in there, as Carolyn has said you have many people who support you. Take care of yourself and we'll be here when you're ready.

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  5. Please hang in there, and know that you have friends who care. We appreciate you.

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  6. Okay, sorry for my language, but here's what helps me. When someone is giving you a hard time (and life is already hard enough anyway) all you gotta do is tell that one special person to......FUCK OFF. I understand you wanting to withdraw from the internet, and people suck, I had the same problem with someone (I didn't know this blogger) but they had used my pictures without my permission. If you still have problems with this person....let me handle it. I know how to stop this shit, if you want.....

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    1. Basically just know that you're a great person and please try not to sink down to this said person's level, she is a **** and she couldn't be treating you like crap.

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  7. I take breaks from Facebook semi-regularly. I have no idea what it is about it, but it seems to bring out the absolute worst in people.. and I can only take so much before I say "Smell ya later" and don't log in for a while.

    People can be ignorant.. and I have found some people in rescue play the 'More volunteer than thou' game. Most often making martyrs of themselves, so OBVIOUSLY they're soooo busy saving animals (like others aren't??) they can't deal with silly things like copyright issues!

    Way back in my shady past .. I was less than honest about drawings. I copied the work of others and posted it as my own. Now, naturally, this came back to bite me in the ass. (As it should have!) I dealt with six people who were very polite and nice and I apologized profusely, felt guilt and shame and gave credit where credit was due and basically looked like the ass I was in front of a lot of people. ONE guy decided it had just become his God given right to try and make me miserable. He was all teeth, no smiles.

    On his profile on an art site, he went on about how he was applying to Vancouver film school. I happened to know the head of admissions.. so, even WITH the "Lorna is scum" stuff attached, I sent said head of admissions a copy of the entire exchange. No professionalism, a lot of profanity, threats, frothing, and everything else. I hear he got rejected. Karma's a bitch.

    The shorter side to this long donut story .. Some people just get wrapped up in their own little worlds and forget to treat others like humans. You don't need to stand for it, you don't need to take it.

    I'm sorry to hear Handsome Jack and his siblings have been doing their best to empty your wallet and put your vet's kids through college. Hopefully they decide that your vet doesn't need a new car.

    Holiday's are ruff. Do your best to shake it off by remembering ... hey, you know lots of awesome people! And we love you and think you're awesome. :)

    *Hug*

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  8. Hang in there. Pawhugs from Emma and Buster

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  9. Sounds like it was a rough few months. That sucks. I hope some time away and some kitty time soothes your bruised heart. FB can be nasty, no doubt. Purrs to you.

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  10. I am well acquainted with stress so know some of what you are feeling. Would miss you online but understand and perhaps will get myself in gear and come hang out with you and kitties :-) Hang in there my friend- don't let the mean kids (and that is what they are... Immature idiots) win...

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    1. well if you make me soda bread... ;)

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  11. Take some time, especially at this time of the year! I disappear for a day or a few sometimes when I'm overloaded with things or I just need a break. Enjoy your time off, your cats, your husband and hope everyone gets well.

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  12. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, especially at a time of year that is already so difficult for you. When these things happen, you just have to take two steps back, and take care of yourself. I really wish the actions of wrong-headed humans didn't cut you so deeply, especially since they are the wrong ones, but you know what? That kind of sensitivity is probably also what makes you such an awesome cat whisperer.

    And if you want, I can sic Binga on them.

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    1. oooo - maybe team Binga up with Ivy - that would be quite scary :)

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  13. Give yourself some time. You have so much on your plate and you take care of so many others. You have to take care of yourself, too, and if that means giving yourself a break from the internet, well that's extra kitty snuggle time, which is some of the best therapy of all.

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  14. The internet is a mixed blessing, that's for sure. When you live a semi-public life the way bloggers do, this kind of thing will happen, and it can be hard to not take it personally, especially when it happens at a time when you're already dealing with a lot of other challenges. I think you have to grow a thick skin when you deal with people online - and you have to remind yourself that the support you get from others far outweighs the occasional ugliness.

    Take some time to unplug, and when you reconnect, use the delete key liberally! :-)

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  15. Purrrrrrrrssssss. We think you could use some extra ones.

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  16. Sorry you are having such a hard time. It is always a let down after the holidays, but with all your added stress I am sure it is much harder. I love the photos of the kittens dressed up for the Golden Globes and your globes were very creative :) Hope things improve.

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  17. Just have a little catnip and roll around on the floor. Then ignore them. Hey, it works!

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  18. Rough month is an understatement. I'm an introvert and it has taken me most of my life to learn the fine art of letting crap roll off me. My word(s) for 2015 are Wish Them Well - I don't always remember to do it - but it is taped to the console in car - my email signature and in a frame on my pantry in kitchen. I say don't take crap from anybody - but wish them well and go on to the things that make you smile and make you happy - fostering kittens. I hope you don't stop writing - as you can see, a lot of folks love to read your blog and facebook posts. And I like the idea of a little catnip and a roll on the floor.

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  19. I can understand taking--and have taken--time away from the Internet, blogging, social media, etc. Lately it's been a not-great time for me so I've been scaling back, but reading all this, WOW. You've had a rough month times infinity. :( I'm sorry you've been dealing with all this crap. And I think you've handled yourself very well, much better than those nasty morons who attacked you. I say take the time you need. You are an extremely giving person, and sometimes people (and heck, seasons) deplete you. You are an awesome person and I'm glad you are here in the Interwebs. :) And that last line about Muffin laying down on your head made me laugh out loud! I hope you have many laughs and smiles in the near future--you deserve it.

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  20. You had a lot on your plate and then to top everything off you had the issue of someone pirating your image and they would not man up and take responsibility for their actions. That's a whole blog post on it's own. But, feeling personally attacked is because you were personally attacked. It was wrong and it was hurtful. FB is an awful place where there is a certain level of nastiness I haven't seen elsewhere. That is why I try to stay catcentric on FB. It's hard to understand people's motives, but one thing I do understand is that buffer of the keyboard allows people to be a lot more vitriolic than they would be if they were face to face. It seems to embolden them to say things they could say in person. That rescue response was over the top and just plain wrong. I'm glad that they did take down your image, but it does not excuse their atrocious behavior. Venting is always a good way to release the pent up frustration. YOU do an excellent job with your kittens and with this blog. The information you give has helped me and countless others. I hope you know how much you help others like myself. Now I hope January turns into a much calmer month for you. Time for some Lena love.

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  21. or sure - blame it on Muffin :)

    over time we have discovered that somehow sitting behind a computer screen makes people think that they can say or do whatever they want without consequences. and that makes THEM wrong - not you. however, it sucks to have to be the victim of cyber bullying - and that is exactly what this was on their part. if you won't say it to someone's face...and we have to believe this lady wouldn't....then don't type it out and hit send (or do what mom does - type it out and DON'T hit send).

    it never fails that these things tend to pile up too....mom went through this when Coral started getting sick - and then weird test results - and on and on.... so yeah - take a break, cuddle a kitten, know that YOU ARE WONDERFUL and doing a great job. And also know that there is a huge community of people that are standing next to you and understand what you are going through....

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  22. I clicked on the Facebook link and read it all and all I can say is what the hell is wrong with some people they need a cat to sit on their face for a while till they wake up and get that they are in the wrong.............it would be easy to tell you not to let these drop kicks bother you but not so easy for you to do so. Know you are amazing and those of us who know you know that

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  23. We agree with Jo-Anne - they are soooooo wrong. Kinda makes us wanna go bite them. HARD. NO ONE messes with our Aunt Connie!

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  24. ((Hugs)) from Mum. Take time for yourself ; you do an amazing work for kitties, we know it, and we want you to know it too ! We're sorry you had to bear it... Purrs

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  25. Ugh. I am SO sorry to hear all this. This January is turning out to be a hard month indeed, and I wonder why.... It must be the stars? But Sunday is Lion's Gotcha Day (remember the snowstorm?) and so we have that to celebrate with great joy, thanks to you. You should come visit sometime and see what he's been doing to the furry pompoms he got for Christmas.

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  26. Borrowing a picture for your own private use is one thing. I love some kitties pictures and I want to keep them close because they are cute, funny, or to remember them by if they have passed. Displaying it on a social media website without permission of the owner and then claiming it is indeed theft. They get mad basically because they were in the wrong and guilty, and ashamed deep in side and that's their problem.
    Criminals often complain loudly when caught. That doesn't necessarily vindicate them, right?
    I recently copied a picture of the header for Marshwood Cottage. But I asked first! I had it as wallpaper on my computer. Til it crashed. *sigh* I'm one of the "good guys"

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  27. Reality is... There are just people who are insensitive and plain stupid! I have encountered people who are such pain in the a$$. Hold your head up high because you're not in the wrong and you are loved! - Pia

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