Tuesday, June 27, 2006
OT - personal life
I guess I have come to the conclusion that I don't fit into life with "regular people". Or should I say, regular net people. I'm not allowed to have an OPINION (meaning something I say I believe, not something I say is fact) nor am I allowed to say I've read a lot about this, and this is what I have found and here is the info that led me to these conclusions.
Well maybe this isn't just on line life.. I mean I was fired from a previous job for having an opinion. (and I did not offer it, it was asked of me by the client)
I spent most of my life being teased and taunted by people so for the most part I don't have much use for "people" but I know that isn't healthy. Human beings need a social network. It's just so freakin hard when I come to the realization that in order to have a social network, I have to be less of who I am.
So do I cave? Do I sit around as a (oh I hate to say this, but you'll understand the reference immediately) blond? or do I continue to be who I am and wait till I finally find someone who doesn't have the baggage to be able to take an opinion?
Not to say I don't have ANY friends.. I have several, but they all have full lives at this point. I guess I'm just stressing over the fact that several BB I joined to find new contacts that are so uptight.. When I first got on line I made lots of friends in chat rooms, but over time we've all grown apart. Finding new online friends is hard. Yahoo chats are now just sex rooms - no matter where you go, and I can't seem to find anyplace else.
Oh well. Guess I just really needed to rant.
Thanks for listening (that is if you are still reading - if you gave up then I guess I didn't thank you in the first place :D)
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I feel obligated to comment, your post sounds so much like you have been abandoned it breaks my heart- I understand it, but it breaks my heart.
ReplyDeleteI wonder, if we time travelled 8 years back...to a time when yahoo chat was chat and not filth, to a time when new friends lived constantly connected, keyboard to keyboard- would there be time for up to 18 kittens? would there be time for 4 children, of varying degrees of need? No, probably not. So perhaps this time in our lives is for a reason- an important one at that...but also equally possible is it is the 8 years of constant friendship that fosters the strength we each need for this part of our lives....we are never so far away as the keyboard or the phone...my life for one would not be "full" if it weren't for you. Have confidence that just even though we arent always together- we are never really apart.