Monday, April 22, 2019
April's Kittens: Autumn, Tajiri, Azizi 4/10/19-4/21/19
After losing Fletcher, the rest of the kittens seemed to be going downhill. I was not strong enough to watch them die one by one so I contacted the rescue and asked that they take them. It was several hours before they left and the kittens once again rallied and I started second guessing letting them go, wondering more than once if they didn't have their best chance here.
But I know that Fletcher rallied a couple of times, and each time it got harder and harder to come back from the back slide. I knew how hard it was on me to watch him die. I hated to pass that burden on to someone else, but I was getting emotional over looking at products at the grocery store, so I also knew that it needed to be done.
I know many people think "oh, fading kitten syndrome" but I want you to know that there isn't an actual thing called FKS. That is a catch all term for several health issues that kittens routinely face that can cause death. It might be as simple as being chilled or missing a meal and having low blood glucose to as complicated as an infection or even birth defects like a liver shunt.
It is my belief that the URI that they were exposed to from April or even something at the emergency clinic (absolutely no blame there) caused an infection that caused their organs to fail. At the end their stomachs were not emptying well and they were quite fussy. I hoped against hope that it was just gas or something else that was fixable, but looking back I am going to say that it was never fixable. All there was available to these kittens was the few short days of life.
When I lose kittens I try very hard not to focus on what was lost but on what they had when they were here. None of us is promised a long life, and if that life is three days or three decades we are never ready for them to go. All we can do is give them our best, love them and make them happy. April's kittens had that to the best of my ability..
My only regret is not having a photo of April standing up on the cage meowing at me to give her back her kitten when I was tube feeding it. When I initially started caring for her kittens she tried very hard to take them back from me. Over the days, I think she realized that I was helping and was okay with it as long as they weren't screaming. Sometimes I had to make them scream (inserting a needle for fluids) and she would jump up and demand I either make it stop or give them back. If I didn't stop the kitten from screaming she would run to the toilet in an attempt to get to the top of the cage where I was working (toilet to sink to cage) but I would assure her that the kitten was fine and she would get him back shortly, and she would stand next to me, looking up with her sleek black head and her big wide eyes and her mouth slightly open so the little peaks of her snow white teeth peeked out. It was so adorable..
Anyway. My goal was to name the kittens after giraffes in the wild and to highlight conservation efforts of giraffe while they were with me (and introduce you to Raffe 2.0) but that is not meant to be. I might do that at some point, but now it only seems fitting to give them names of the famous giraffe April's offspring:
Autumn (female, b. 2013) Green Collar
Tajiri (male, b. 2017) Blue collar
Azizi (male, b. 2019) Red collar.
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I am so sorry for you and for April. Though I suspect April will recover more quickly than you. Aside from April's horrible infection, she probably didn't have the best pre-natal care, either. Most rescue babies start from such a deficit that it's amazing so many do make it. Do what you need to do to ease your heart and get ready for Hedy's gang -- who fortunately have had more healthy "baking" time with you!
ReplyDeletethis is the heartbreaking part of fostering - we do all we can and it just wasn't meant to be. we can say all the right things to each other, but in the end it just sucks. I am so very sorry for you, April and the rescue
ReplyDeleteOh, Connie, I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you. <3
ReplyDeleteRest In Peace, little ones.
ReplyDeleteI’m so very sorry.
I'm so sorry, for you and for April. We're sending hugs and purrs. Peace.
ReplyDeleteKim, Nicki and Derry
We are so sorry it ended this way, despite all the good work that was done to try to save them.'If love could have saved them, they never would have died."
ReplyDeleteI am so so sorry... I have been remembering through all of this how wonderful you were supporting me a few years back when I lost my tar baby boys one a day for four days. It is a horrible thing to watch. My thoughts are with you and momma April.
ReplyDeleteWe are so very sorry. We know you did everything you could. Sending you purrs and hugs.
ReplyDeletePoor little things. And poor April. Most especially poor you. I’m sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteit should have never happened...none of it. #SpayAndNeuter
ReplyDeleteYou gave your all to these little kittens and April. I am praying for a miracle. Thank you for all that you do for these kitties. I'm glad they were born in a loving environment.
ReplyDeleteWe are very sad. But we also know they had the best short lives as was possible, thanks to you. Please take care.
ReplyDeleteWe're so sorry for the loss of the kittens. Thank you for having done everything possible for them. We send you and April hugs and purrs.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you couldn't save them. Although I know you know that you can't save every kitten, that makes no difference. It's still terrible and sad and awful. Being there for them does take a toll, but please be glad you were there for them.
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew what to say. I imagine it never gets easier - but I have no doubt that you gave those precious babes the best chance they had to survive. And they knew they were loved.
ReplyDeleteThere was no saving, only giving them the best life they could have in the time they had. That's all we can really ever do for another living being, no matter the circumstances. And we rarely know what a rescued mom cat's life was, what illness, nutrition or lack thereof, injury, emotional trauma, and even her own inner strength can't overcome all of that if the damage is already done. This was a painful, twisted journey for both of you. We can only send love to both of you that your healing is gentle and forgiving.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for all of you.
ReplyDeleteWe lost one this weekend too. After 2.5 years of fostering it was our first loss. It is just heartbreaking. I can't imagine what losing a whole batch. Purrs and tears your way.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. You did everything possible and then some. You're doing great work and you deserve a big thumbs up for helping these cats and kittens.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, we all know you did everything you could for the little ones. Thinking of you and April.
ReplyDeletewe are beyond sorry and could cry with you and for the wee ones ~~~~ we are for once... speechless.....Godspeed your journeys to heaven kittens; God's strength to you emotionally Connie... with hugs and loves from us all ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
ReplyDeleteThis is the side of fostering that many people don't know about. Thank you for sharing. And purrs to you and April.
ReplyDeleteEmma and Buster
I am so sorry. XO
ReplyDeleteThis was a sad post, like those before me i am sorry
ReplyDelete