Monday, July 16, 2007

The roller coster of Em

Now let me start off by saying she is still very stubborn, still very interested in life, and absolutely not ready to go..

but I fear I am not going to be able to let her make that decision.

As she stopped letting me pill her, I've been more and more concerned about her mouth. Her canines are looking almost translucent, which is very odd to me. I've been trying to get a better look in her mouth, and she does not want me to. well I forced her over the weekend, and the tip of her tongue has issues. I'm not sure what they are, but I saw blood. and recently she's been less likely to eat. She still loves the pill pockets I bought to try to help sneak her pills into her, and the temptations, but a plate of food is just not her thing.

I left her locked in the bathroom with four different plates of food.. regular canned, dry, a plate of yogurt, and a bowl of A/D mixed with water. Hopefully SOMETHING will be gone when I get home... if not I will be forced to attempt to force feed her. when giving her clavamox this morning, I grabbed a little of the a/d mixture with it, and squirted that into her mouth, which she took surprisingly well... so maybe forcing won't be a big deal. If it is, and if she won't eat on her own, I can't let her starve, no matter how much she wants to hang around - which I think will shatter my soul way more than her dying. I will be sad but ok if she tells me that it is time, but I don't know if I can make her go before she is ready.

I've also noticed that stability is becoming more and more of an issue as well. this morning while eating the pill pocket, she dropped it out of her mouth, and it rolled under her, she tried to get it, but almost ended up doing a somersault. Fortunately I was there to catch her. It scares me that she's still willing to walk downstairs.. but she does.

and to top it all off, she actually started to play the other day. DH took off his sneakers near her, and she batted after the shoe lace till the other cats joined in..

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