Monday, March 21, 2011

Well, Tinsel was adopted.... (and some verbal diarrhea)

I'm not happy. (but I am happy for Tinsel)  I have been reluctant to post about what has been going on as I wasn't sure if it was an actual issue or not. 

I stopped in to see Peter and Tinsel on Saturday evening.  Their write up which originally had "we must go home together" written on it by a staff member had a post it on it saying they could be separated.  I was quite upset, and went home wondering why.  Wondering if I even had the right to say something... well I guess I always have the right to "say something" but probably not to push the matter. 

I had taken the post it, hoping that would be enough.  Hoping that it was someone not in authority who had wrote it, and that by removing it that it wouldn't happen.  I fretted and obsessed, and finally I gave up and called the shelter staff member who is in charge of PetSmart.  She didn't answer her phone, so I left a message.  She did not call.  I called again in the morning, trying to be very pleasant, and saying I just wanted to ask a question about policy and it would just take a moment.

I really needed to know why after three months this decision was made.

So she didn't call. So I called the shelter manager on Sunday.  I left her a message as well but told her I didn't really need a call back about this.  I was started to feel a little obsessive about this.  Once again, what am I "allowed" to say/insist on.  I mean these aren't my cats.  I'm "just a volunteer".  I've been volunteering for a very long time, more then a dozen years, maybe 15, maybe even 20.. I'm not really sure.  I've been fostering since they started the program. 

I also was hoping that it wouldn't matter. That they would be adopted together. 

I went by this evening.  Tinsel was gone.  My write up was gone.  Peter was in the cage all by himself.

I am bothered that it was not discussed with me.  (Do I even have a right to think they should have asked?)  I'm bothered that I did not get a call back.  I'm bothered that they would igo along with them be adopted together for three months then all of a sudden decide, well maybe not.  Granted Peter does really well when he is comfortable in an environment, but when change happens he pulls inside himself.  Even coming back here when he was sick it took him a while to come out of his shell.  Tinsel helped him accept that the world was not out to get him.  If Tinsel could do it, Peter thought he could do it.  Will Peter be OK with out a friend.. I guess, but I think he would do so much better with one.  (Or at least in a home that is understanding that he is like that - but with out a write up, the new home will not know)

I want so much to grab him and bring him home.  But I did that with Skippy, and while I do not regret bringing him home, I'm not sure it was the best thing for him or the resident kitties. I'm sure Peter would do OK here, but he might do so much better in a less complicated household.


So I'm not sure I feel comfortable fostering at this point.  I get so emotionally invested.  I am supposed to bring these little ones into my home and love them, and nurture them, and care about them, and my feelings don't stop at the door.... and I'm not sure I would be any good as a "maker of good kittens" if they did.

So, I do need to have a conversation with the shelter about this.  I need to decide if this is something I can accept.  if it isn't, will another shelter have different rules about this sort of thing?  If not, what am I going to do with all my new found free time?  and how bad is the kitten fever going to get watching others foster such as IBKC  (I mean come on, have you seen Mr. Kirby??)

On a side note, I called the vet today.  I'm going to bring Fleurp in the morning for a blood draw to see if she is anemic again.  She's back at the dirt and still playing with screws even though we picked up every single one we could find.  I scheduled Twee and Eli for a week from tomorrow for dentals.


  1. That would frustrate me so, so much. I'm lucky in that all of my fosters have been adopted right away from the Humane Society so there haven't been issues with adoption, but I have had frustrating moments with them. I gave some kittens back to them for extra care because I felt they were too sick for me to take care of them myself, and I called almost every day asking how they were, and I got stock "they're fine" answers every time. When I finally got them back, I found out that one of them had died! And they didn't think that was important to tell me? I don't know if they know how much we (fosters) care about these kitties. Maybe you would have better luck fostering for a different organization?

    I'm a new reader of your blog but I've been fostering for nine-ish months now and I have loved every one of my kittens. Some of them have been harder to give back than others but I didn't care about their futures any less.

  2. I'm frustrated too, Connie! I cried this morning when I read your post. :( I really wish I could take Peter. I even discussed it with my mom. (I live with and help out with my 83-year-old mother.) But as much as we'd love to take him, it just wouldn't work. And that fact breaks my heart even more.

    I'm going to continue to spread the word about Peter. Potential adopters should be aware of his story so they can understand why he's so shy and apprehensive. I pray every day that he finds a special and loving home that's perfect for him.

  3. I don't believe this!!! I don't think you're being unreasonable at all--it wouldn't even have been so bad the other way around provided Peter had good adopters, I think, but now Peter's all alone in a shelter environment and I really worry that he'll get shyer/backslide. You've done so much for them, Connie, don't be discouraged. If I could have a cat at all, I'd rush down and scoop Peter up--I'm an experienced kitty owner ;) and work with shy cats at the shelter. I am sharing him with everyone I know at my shelter and asking friends to share him as well.


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